A
female
age
30-35,
*exy1994
writes:I am 14 years old and i am dating a 27 year old,who was my brothers friend and he watched me grow up.My friends think hes a paedophile and hate him but i do like him and they know im interested in older guys.Also my friends sister has been threating to beat him because of our relasionship.Should i leave him or just ignore what there saying? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dandocas  +, writes (28 July 2008):
Love has no age. Unfortunately, American society does not accept the fact that nature has programmed us to feel attracted toward men that are mature, can protect us and treat us right. American laws are disrespectful of nature and that only brings problems when natural sexuality is repressed in such a horrible way. It's totally NATURAL for you to feel attracted to OLDER men. And it's also TOTALLY natural for older men to feel attracted toward younger women since a woman's sexual life is much shorter than a man's (starting from age 30, women run the risk of having babies with abnormalities). We're designed to have babies soon after reaching puberty but unfortunately laws have tried to delay this natural cycle. These laws were made to protect the economy by ensuring women get an education and can be productive in the system. In other words, laws sacrifice nature for economy. I urge to analyze your feelings since that's the only thing that should matter. Tell those who oppose your relationship that chronological age is NOT important in a relationship but MENTAL/EMOTIONAL age is. Usually, women mature MUCH faster than men and a 10 or 15 year gap most often has a positive effect on a relationship. The US has an enormous divorce rate because most marriages are between partners of the same age. I wish you luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): You'll love him now and defend him.
And then years from now, when you are 27, and you know another 27yo guy who is dating a 14yo girl, you'll want him in jail for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): The laws in Britian have recently changed. Be very, very carefull. This man can now be charged with grooming. He should not go out with you, he could easily be sent to jail. If he dosen't stop your parents will find out, because people already know. If this man loved you he would speak to your parents, he would wait untill you get older. Your 16 in a couple of years, why can't he wait untill then. Or is it only little girls he likes. By 16 you will be too old and he will leave you for another little girl.
This man can go to jail, they will lock him up in the special place reserved just for paedophiles. He will be kept seperate from people because other prisioners will try to kill him. He will get placed on the "sex offenders register", he won't be able to work and will have to report to the police regularly. He will have to stay on this "sex offenders register" for the rest of his life.
If your teachers in school find out, they will tell your parents. But the government can also step in. You could be placed in care if they think your having sex and are out of your parents control.
Just by going out with you, this man could become a criminal for "child grooming". That's about encouraging you to think about sex, talk about sex or do sexual things. Even if he waits untill your 16 - 17years old, he can still be sent to jail under this new law.
You need to finish your relationship with this man. What your doing is very dangerous. There will be hell to pay if any adult, especially your parents find out what is going on. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm showing you how dangerous things can get when your underage and going out with such an old man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Hi,
I'm in the exact same situation as you.
I'm dating a 21 soon to be 22 year old and i'm 15...
My friends say it's wrong and that he's a pheodophile but I just don't listern to them because I love this guy so much!!
I haven't told my parents because i'm so afriad of what they'd say.
I'm still unsure if I should mkve over with him or not as he may be a pheodophile......but I dont really care
My advice..
Don't listern to your friends,age doesn't matter, it's the love you have for eachother that counts!!
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (24 June 2008):
 I thought it was bad me seeing a 17 year old when i was your age, but this is just something else, this guy does not sound right, he's pretty much nearly 30,.. And your still really really underage. Dump him babes, before this gets out of hand, all it takes is for someone to go to the police and bang, he'll be locked away for being a child molester! It'd ruin both your lives, finish it now before you start coming out with you love him, which'll make things a trillion times harder and worse! If you really do like him, at least wait until your legal sweetie. x
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Leave him.
What the hell is a grown ass man like him doing with a child like you?!
Answer: He wants sex.
You know when women say Men are Only After One Thing? When it comes to guys like him, sweetie, they are right!
Your friends are right by telling you, it's wrong; this man can go to jail if you sleep with him, just get away from him while you still can because he's SICK!
There's something not right up top with him; you say he's watched you grow up?
Please, dump him and find someone your own age - if you're interested in older guys, at least go for a 16 year old at the most! You have nothing in common with this man, you can't do anything together and it's a waste of a relationship.
And I doubt your parents know about this relationship - because they wouldn't approve. Any guy that you have to hide from your parents for obvious reasons (like his age!) should be a warning sign for you.
Listen to what everyone is telling you!
Keep us updated
xo
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A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (24 June 2008):
 The only reason - and I do mean the ONLY reason - this man is interested in you is for sex. Period. That's it. I don't care what he tells you, that's the facts.
The fact that this man has watched you grow up and now wants physical intimacy with you is just sick. He's a pedophile. Having sex with a minor is illegal for a reason - because it's wrong! He's taking advantage of you.
Just think about this: there is abolutely nothing a 14 year old and a 27 year old would have in common. Nothing. No offense, but you're still a child. You haven't even graduated high school yet! He, on the other hand, has been to high school, possibly college, has slept around, had several girlfriends, possibly thought about marriage, probably lives on his own, holds a job...just think about that. You have done NONE of those things. What could you two possibly have to talk about? Not much. Relationships are not just about sex. They're about having serious conversations, engaging mutual interests (sports, reading, art, whatever), getting to really know each other intimately, and supporting each other emotionally and mentally. Sorry, but someone your age cannot possibly do those things for a 27 year old man. The reality is that this is not a relationship at all, it's just about sex!
The only other situation I could see happening here is that maybe this man is unstable mentally and he's looking for a "daughter" or "little sister" figure to love. But even in that case, no good father or brother wants to have sex with his daughter or sister! So I really don't think that's the case.
Please listen to the wiser and older people around you: stay away from this man! He's a pedophile. He doesn't love you, he doesn't care about you. He wants sex from you, and that's it. You're allowing yourself to be used. Stay away from him and please tell you parents about this man. He needs to stay away from you, and he definitely needs professional help for his pedophilia problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): First you need to think about something, If your parents found out or someone from DHS or the police know about your relationship with someone 13 years older than you are he could get into alot of trouble. I dont want you to be on the defense, but when you are young you dont fully know yourself and will not know yourself until you are older. You will always follow your heart, but follow your instincts and talk to your parents about this. If he isnt willing to talk to your parents with you, you will know something is wrong. Socially many will think this is wrong, you have to define your own path in life, but think about all your actions wisely! if you get pregnant at such a young age, it could be crippling to your future. Talk to him and your parents preferably together, and decide together. You shouldnt have to make such a hard decision alone. best of luck sweetheart, msg me anytime
Always here
babygirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Vow, you got yourself an older guy and he makes you feel good and pays all the attention to you; but it is very WRONG; and he as an adult should know that;
for him to have sex with you is "illegal" and he can face charges (even prison);( I hope not you have had sex with him yet);
Your friends have reason to be concerned;they care about you and know that nothing good can come from this relationship; listen to them;
I suggest you stop seeing this guy immediately;
ignore him and should he trouble you; you will have to ask your parents or your friends for help; even report him to the police;
STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): No offense, but to me that's a little strange. I am 13 yrs old and honestly it would bother me completely if i knew a 27 yr old man was intersted in me. Once again no offense, but i think he's a little more interested in sex than he is just hangin out with you. I would definitely drop that guy flat on his butt. That is just sick, i agree with your friends, wait until you're older to date him. If he really "loves" you then he'll wait. If not then move on to someone your age.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (24 June 2008):
 If a 27 year old has seen you grow up and is dating you at only 14 then alarm bells will be ringing for most people. If you have sex then he could be put on the sex offenders register.
I think you should ask yourself what a 27 year old man could possibly see in a 14 year old girl as you are still very much a child and as this doesnt seem right to me at all. What are your parents views on this? I would personally lock my daughter up and call the police.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Listen to your friends; they're right. You're lucky to have friends like them in your life to let you know when you're making a mistake. And you're making a big mistake by hanging around this guy. Any sexual activity between you and him is ILLEGAL - and just plain wrong from a moral standpoint. Any guy his age would have to be sick in the head to be sexually interested in anyone your age. It may seem cool to you because it's so wrong, but it isn't in any way cool. Just sad and sick.
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