A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 and don't think I've ever been truly sexually attracted to any of my boyfriends. I have found them all attractive in the sense that I look at them and believe they are handsome, but I have never had that 'I want to rip your shirt off' type feeling that they seem to have with me. Sex with them has always been nice, but sometimes I wish I really wanted it instead of just being ok with the idea. Is this normal? Am I expecting too much? I have been quite attracted to one or two guys in my past, but since nothing ever happened with them I don't really know if that would have translated into the bedroom. Any advice will be much appreciated. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (10 February 2013):
 It may just be thst you have not had strong sexual chemistry with
anyone. This usually comes when you are attracted to someone and you love their personality and fall for them especially when you can't have them. And you may well have felt like that with the two guys that you
liked. So then feeling will come when you find someone that you have a sexual spark with.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (10 February 2013):
There isn’t really such a thing as “normal” when it comes to the extent of one’s sex drive, and desire for sex. That’s why it’s important to figure out how important sex is to you, how much you want it to be part of a relationship, and try to find some-one whose own feelings and expectations about this matter are compatible with yours.
You may, of course, have an unrealistic view of sex and expect it to be so amazing that when it’s just nice, you wonder if somehow either you, the boyfriend, or both, have somehow fallen short. This just isn’t the case. Maybe there will be some-one in the future who will fill you with passionate lust and the desire to rip his clothes off, but remember attraction to a person, even physical attraction, is about so much more than wanting to have sex with them. Perhaps for you, finding them physically attractive and being romantically attracted to them is more important than how strong your desire for sex with him is. People can’t turn feelings on and off, or force themselves to feel differently which is why the most important thing is to look at the whole picture and find some-one compatible.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
