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I always got excited by my ex, now I'm having problems with other girls, what's wrong?

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Question - (16 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, *issanDriver writes:

Here's my problem. Im 19yrs old. And i lost my virginity to the girl i have been with since i was 17. We are finally over with due to her lying\cheating but yet still coming back because she "loves me more thatn anything". Ill admit i love this girl and its gunna take alot to get over her. but heres the real problem...Our sex life was great, with the exception of coming a little to fast. But i could ALWAYS start back up again and ejaculate 5 times more if needed. I have hooked up with a few girls since, but i am having a problem keeping an erection with them!!!!, Why is this?!. The girl i was with was VERY VERY good looking. Not a flaw i could find on her. But now i try to have sex with other girls which airent as sexy to me as my ex but i cant keep an erection!. I cant think that its an erectal disfunction simply because with the girl i was with for 2 years, I NEVER had an erection problem. I would get an erection just by touching her in certain ways, and still i can get an erection when it comes to masterbation and such.. Anyone have this issue before?? Is it simply because i still havent let go of my ex g\f? meaning that its phycological? Like im just nervous or something like that. Im not the kind of sleep around guy, im more of a commintment type person, but i dont want to sound cocky, im good looking and can get a girl in bed without much of trying. I just dont know what my problem is and its killing me!!!!

View related questions: ejaculate, erection, lost my virginity, my ex, sex life

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2007):

Dazzerg agony auntSeems to me you hit the nail on the head at the end, that the block is in your mind and not any medical problem. There may also be some issues arising from the fact that you state here she betrayed your trust and subconsciously that has affected you especially as you are a 'commitment type of guy'.

You obviously need to feel comfortable with the person you are with to be able to perform and in that I think i would echo some of the previous response. It seems to me a little that you are focing yourself into doing these things not because you particularly want too but as a way of recovering from what happened with your ex.

Obviously your lack of performance now will have a further detremental effect on your self-esteem so I would definatly advise against more of the trying to get over somebody by getting under somebody else. Take things slow, find somebody you can connect with and build a relationship with them from the ground up and I think you will find that everything else will flow naturally.

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

You are jumping these other chicks way to fast. You need to go slow until you both are insinc. Relax and enjoy. It's not a goal to be scored as fast as possible.

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