A
female
age
51-59,
*hinEl
writes:Been married for nearly 6 years. 4 months after we were married he got violent and did a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the house. I was horrified since we were not even arguing at all. He is mean in front of my girlfriends or when we are with other people. Then in August he actually hit me tried to get my phone from me and I was horrified, terrified and numb. Somehow we did not talk about any of this. He went to God and repented but again at the end of Feb while a friend was sleeping on the couch he grabbed my arm and bit me and then again grabbed my head and really hurt me, broke the phone and left. There has been no contact really. A text to say he is sorry. Can I trust him. All 3 times we were not fighting or arguing. He is very very strong. This site has opened my eyes in a big way but made me sad. Where can I get help. Scared to go to the cops. He is a nice guy and I do love him will I ever get over my fear. I understand a lot about me from others stories.. Thanks.
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female
reader, Tuatara  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Unfortunately I don't think it would be wise to trust that he will not continue to be violent. It seem that he has a problem which he needs to get help for, immediately. The cycle of domestic violence is well documented and I suggest you search the net for the many numerous sites which offer excellent advice. This is not a healthy relationship, it is a dangerous one. You also cannot help him. Loving him will not make him better. He is an abuser with issues. Unfortunately you fear is justified and whilst it is very scarey to "go to the cops", your not help him by staying silent.I suggest you contact a womens refuge or organisation within your community to get some guidance and support.Your husband may well get more un-predictably violent and you should take this really seriously and protect yourself first and foremost.Please get some help.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 If you could trust him, you would not be writing this. You are worried and scared and you have every right to be. At this point, an apology is not enough. What is he doing to ensure that never happens again? I assume that nothing is being done and therefore, you cannot trust him ever. Maybe he enjoys being that way, maybe he enjoys hurting you, pounding you into the walls, get away from him now before you receive more horrible things than wounds. Go somewhere safe. Your friends or family, anywhere really.I hope that helps.
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