A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on why my husband with say some things he said before leaving for a busines trip.He has a job that requires him to travel from time to time. He woke up this morning and was reading some work emails and he said he hated the idea of going on this trip because 2 of the ladies he was traveling with have "hooked" up with co workers int he past during these trips. I asked why it would matter to him and he said he just didnt want to be "around" or "involved" in that stuff.To me it almost soundedd liek he didtn trust himself but he said that wasnt it at all and that he just didnt want to put himself in a situation where anyone would thinkt hat way of him.We have been together for 4 yrs, married for 15 months and he has never cheated on me before but I just have this nervous feeling now that he made those comment. What would you think if your husband said these things?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): another interpretation could be that he doesn't want you to find out from a third party that he went on this trip with those women who have that reputation. He would rather that you knew from him ahead of time that he's going to be on this trip with such women. He wanted to inform you of this fact ahead of time, so you wouldn't hear it later on from someone else as that would cause a lot of misunderstandings probably.
and it would be weird for him to just go up to you and say "by the way on this trip there are going to be these 2 women and they have been known to hook up with guys from work." that sounds awkward so he had to quickly add that he "hates" that he "has" to be around them.
I don't know if this means he is planning to do anythign witjh them, or thinks he might in the heat of the moment, but either way I think he's covering his tracks by informing you ahead of time that those women are going to be there.
It would be worse if he said nothing, went on the trip, nothing happened, came back, then months later you find out through a third party that on this trip way back when there were those 2 women and then you start freaking out and questioning him about what went on months ago.
A
female
reader, demeplev  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 I wont be popular here, but I am sorry I disagree with the rest of the Aunts on this one.
If your words are exactly how it went down in my personal experience when a man preempts something like that its almost like he's telling you something is going to happen or worried that something bad will happen.
Every time a man has said ..he doesn't "like" to be somewhere or doesn't want to go somewhere, its always to me had an ulterior motive...
not that he purposefully will be bad but more like maybe he doesn't trust himself or these women, maybe attracted to them?...
but either way like ironman777 said create some real boundaries for this trip.
good luck and sorry I'm such a pessimist.
peace and love
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 I think that what he is saying, is that he doesn't want any situation to arise where one of these women might possibly put the hard word on him. He would then have to turn them down, causing an awkward feeling. You should feel good about the fact that he feels comfortable enough to have brought the conversation up with you. If you haven't had any cause to distrust him in the past, why would you now? Relax and trust him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): relax there's probably nothing to worry about. He is just concerned about his reputation at work because people might associate him with those 2 women since they went on the same business trip.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (3 November 2012):
I think that your husband is definately worried about his own reaction should one of them come on strong to him - could he resist the temptation to have sex with these co workers. What do you think his morals are like? You married him and can judge his character.
I wouldnt worry too much about this, most good men would not cheat on their wives... a man doesnt wake up one morning and say randomly I think I will cheat with some random woman today... if your relationship is strong nothing will happen.
Ask him to stay away from drinking too much while away, that will reduce the risk significantly.
hope nothing happens with these business trips!
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