A
female
age
51-59,
*owtolove
writes:I have been married for 19 years now. My husband is a responsible man of integrity. He is a wonderful father, doesn't raise his voice or namecall...we have 4 beautiful children. However, I feel unloved by him. We have no connection emotionally. No passion. What makes him happy is the practical mundane things of life. I on the other hand, find happiness in quality time together, touch, communication, romance. I feel so empty inside and alone....I have communicated all of this to him, and he admits he doesn't know how to do these things. Although I see what a great person he is, I am so frustrated and hate him sometimes, because I feel so trapped in a lifeless marriage. I'm usually the one to come up with solutions, like counseling. But he didn't do the assignments. I'm tired, I don't want to do anymore...but I want to be loved and wanted by someone.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Give counseling one more try, but this time I suggest you go by yourself. You have been honest with him but it sounds like he isn't following through with actually giving you what you need. I think a good therapist will help you decide if you want to give marriage counseling another shot or try something different.
In the meantime, how about going on a date with him? Be very specific about exactly what you want - dinner, flowers, dancing, et cetera. Maybe concrete directions would help.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, loseCONTROLx  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 Explain to him, again, that you really feel strongly about this. And that if he really loves you, he's going to have to try to make this work also. I highly recommend trying marriage counselling again. Good luck.
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