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How to tell a girl you're dating that you're a virgin?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2011)
A male Iran - Islamic Republic of age 30-35, *ep27 writes:


I'm a 27 years old guy and I have never had sex in my life. It's an bothering fact especially when you live among people for whom it's no big deal to have sex from younger ages. The reason i haven't had sex so far may sound stupid but it's always been important for me to do it with someone I'm in a close relationship with..kind of a personal value.

Now the problem is I don't know how to tell the girl I want to date, that I have never been in bed with anyone before, and not getting her to think that I'd wanna use her as a hooker or a first time experience budy...

Thanks for your help, and sorry if this has been asked before...

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A female reader, Rose22 New Zealand +, writes (20 February 2011):

Rose22 agony aunt"hey i would like to say that before we have still a virgin. for me that means that i have chosen you to give this to and i intend to be with you. i love you."



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A female reader, authenticgal United States +, writes (14 February 2011):

If you're JUST going to date her, then it's NOT nessecary for you to tell her that you're a virgin...Unless you guys are planning to have sex on you first date. You being a virgin is your privacy and your right to keep it a secret. It's called respect. The other person doesn't necessary need to know unless it's bugging you to death.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (14 February 2011):

chigirl agony auntIf you are not already dating her then don't tell her. Once you get into a relationship with a girl, and she becomes the person that you'd like to have sex with, then you tell her. You don't tell her sooner.

Once you have gotten into a relationship, and have gotten to the stage where you know you would be comfortable having sex with her, you will also feel comfortable about telling her you are a virgin.

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (14 February 2011):

The obvious answer is, let her know you are really interested in her. Before letting her know you are a virgin.

Of course that can be hard to do, if you start talking about sex right away. You will have to figure out how to do it. I would recommend you not to lie about this. Don't tell her you are not virgin.

In the end, if she thinks you can use her she will have to deal with that. At some point you have to trust her and she has to trust you.

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