A
female
age
41-50,
*urtingcouple
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for 13 yrs now. we have children. recently he cheated on me with a girl he works with who is about 8 yrs younger then him. this is not in his nature-he's never been the type to do anything like this. well she offered herself to him over and over and over, she was brushing up against him and laying it on thick! well he finally caved in. they messaged each other for about 5 weeks then they started having sex, they had sex like 4 or 5 times over 2 1/2 weeks. then thankfully he finally stopped. i knew every time they met up except the first time, it really killed me to sit there while i new he was out with her! she new he had a long-term gf and children. they still work together wich sucks for me! they had no contact the first week then she started messaging him again. he replied every time i confronted him again and it stopped for good. but every once in a while she sends him a message he ignores it, i finally sent her one back as myself maybe she'l get the hint? during this i tried talking to him but he refused to talk to me, when he was finally done we talked about everything and he said if i gave him some space and didnt pressure him to talk he maybe wouldnt have met up with her so many times-wich is bs! i didnt drive him to keep it up! i was tryin to stop it! but any way i kept telling him we didnt have to talk about it (now) but in order to get past this we would have to! once we started talkin about it i told him that i cheated on him once as well. (wich is not in my nature either! and iv felt guilty about it from the start! i wanted to tell him so many times but was afraid to hurt him!) now we are tryin to work on trust. i try to trust him but there are a few things i dont like him to do now, like hang alone with his friend who he brought along with him to cheat on me, hang out at work after work-mainly because she works there and she doesnt completely get the hint i guess? but those are very hard for me because thats what he did when he cheated on me. he is sorry now that we talked about it and he realizes how much he hurt me (he didnt really seem to care he was hurting me while i was basically watchin him do this to me) so he's been stayin home and tryin to make things up to me. wich i deeply appreciate! i dont really do too much, i go to school and hang out with family mostly i try to make it up to him as well. we have not been able to keep our hands off each other since! we are still deeply in love! i no i was wrong for not telling him for 6 yrs- but i lived with the guilt every day! and he was wrong for tellin the witch he loved her after she said it to him! he was seen in public with her, and one night when we were fighting he almost left to sleep at her house! so we both did bad things we both cheated once it really sucks! and we both wish we could take it back! but i guess i would like a few suggestions on how i could make it up to him, i would like opinions on if its time yet that he should be trusted with this same friend (who iv never really trusted any ways, and i use to go with my bf to hang out with his friend and his gf any way) so thats what we've been doin, its only been about 2 months since he's cheated on me and i would like suggestions on how to rebuild our trust along with anything else you would like to add? hope i filled in enough info? thanks!
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