A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my LDR girlfriend, of 10 months, and I have been broken up now for about 2 months now. She was the one who decided to end things and at first I didn't agree with the breakup but over time I've come to realize that maybe it was for the best considering she didn't feel the same way for me. About a week after we broke up she was already in a new relationship with somebody else and as far as I can tell she really loves him, and i'm happy for her. It hurt badly in the beginning when I heard this especially when I was so heartbroken over the breakup, but I've realized that being angry with her is not healthy for me, and not going to help me move on. I loved her more then she can ever know and would've done anything for her. But I've come to believe that if I truly care about her I'll let her go and if we were meant to be together then the universe will be the one to make it happen.I've also come to realize that I really don't want her out of my life and I at least want to try and keep some form of contact with her, like through Facebook. I had to remove her from Facebook in the beginning because it was just too hard to bare still seeing her status updates and her with her new boyfriend. However, I believe I've moved on enough to realize that there is no more sorrow, only happiness for her. During the course of our relationship I've relied heavily on her advice and wisdom. And that I value tremendously and miss extremely, and I would like to have that backCan anyone tell me what's the best way for me to ask her how we can be Facebook friends again? This is new territory for me considering she was the first serious relationship I've ever been in. And after the breakup she was the one who stated that she still wants to be friends with me, so i know that the bridge is still open for me but I just need to tread carefully in order for her not to take this hand of friendship the wrong way.
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, heartbroken, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope so too, but I don't know how she feels and kind of afraid of opening communications with her. Still trying to figure out how to do it tactfully.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): In that case I admire you! I guess it was a reasonably respectful/amicable breakup, if you feel that was about your ex. Hope thinmsg work out...
I wouldn't what to say to mine, or if I even want to, as I'm likely to carry a torch for her for many many years. Plus, the way she ended things was very cold, and she showed no interest in wanting to keep in touch.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do love and care about her, but just as a friend and nothing more. I would never ever get into a relationship with her ever again because I realize that it would never work out, and there's no future between us. But I just don't want to cut her out of my life completely especially when she is a wonderful person. Also knowing that she's happy with somebody else other then me doesn't really affect me in a bad way anymore. If she's happy with what she's doing then i'll be happy too. I'm not sure how much her decision about me has changed over the past 2 months but I assumed its stayed the same or else she would've cut me out of her life completely.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): Sounds like you've a good common sense to things.
However...
Are you 100% absolutely positively sure that you are over her enough, that reconnecting with her won't bring back painful memories, and that you can be a 'Facebook' spectator on the sidelines of her new love life without feeling sorrow?
If you reckon you're genuinely over her enough, then get in touch like Largentsgirl says. BUT ... It sounds as though you're still in love with yor ex, so be warned that it might be harder for you than you think.
Also, although some 'dumpers' initially *say* that they still want to be friends, they might not always mean it. So tread softly there too, lest she's since decided she wants a clean break.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (31 October 2010):
 Tell her what you just wrote. You were originally upset when you two broke up, but after time has past you realize it's for the best and since she is so awesome (i'm assuming she is otherwise you wouldn't want to be her friend) you still want to be friends. Facebook friends.
...............................
|
