A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 18, almost 19 and Since i was 14 all i have wanted to be is a mum.I have never tried to concieve and since becomming sexually active have always used contraception, but still cant get the thought out of my head!I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and although he has said he likes the idea of a child with me, we both want to be able to finantially support a baby with our own flat rather than rely on councils and parents.I finish my A levels next summer (a year later than i should have) so i dont want a pregnancy which would stop me from doing this.Yet i still cant stop thinking about it, times when my period is a few days late i feel slightly excited. I want to be sensible about having a child because its so life changing but my head is refusing to give up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): You both are right about settling first and then having a baby. But I think you should take things slow. You know? Don't rush. I understand its all new to you and you are excited. But, its not only about you. Its about you're baby too. To give the baby a good life make sure that you are 100% sure that you are settled and you can afford enough to give the baby all those facilities that are needed for the baby to grow up. So, make sure you are stable. Make future savings. Its a lot of responsibilty. So do not rush. Its exciting at the moment but then you have to manage everything. I'm sure you're gonna be a good mother. All the best.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 Annalisa already gave beautiful advice, but I thought I'd pipe in.My Mom had ME at 19 years old, and while she said I was the best blessing that ever happened to her, that time of her life was extremely difficult and she wished she would have waited until she was older and in a mature/stable relationship. My Father was never a part of my life (he was not ready to be a Dad) and I feel I missed out on having a "normal" family experiece of two parents that had their lives together and did not regret being parents too soon.I started my family at 25 years old and was married to someone who was ready and willing to be a parent. He and I did not work out, but he remained dedicated to being a responsible Father and is involved in our children's lives daily. It is wondeful you want to be a Mum someday! Just be the BEST YOU before you are ready to take on a HUGE, life changing event. Your future child deserves the best possible start, support, and environment. You will be better off five years from now to provide that.The only way to get your mind off somethign that is not a good option for you now...is to fill your head and life full of things you need to do to acheive your goals to build UP to marriage/parenthood.There are plenty of things you CAN NOT do when you have kids at home-do those:) Enjoy your youth-there is plenty of time for parenting later!
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