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How to fix something that's half-broken?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, *adedink writes:

My boyfriend and I are quite serious, planning on moving in together this year, and marriage in the works in the next year or two.

We really are a great couple and both of us love eachother more than should be possible, but we have a problem.

He goes away on business and we rarely get to see eachother when he is in town because he his always with his friends and is a total Yes man so when we are together and his friends ask him to do something he says yes and our time is cut short. But now that he is out on business, it's worse because we barely text when he's gone, and all his work buddies hit the bar after work so i don't get to talk to him or skype.

Well, I had always been the push over girlfriend, doing litrally anything and everything to make him happy, and though I know he loves and cares for me and misses me, I need to feel and see it.

For example, He said "I miss you so much, and i want to see your beautiful face so bad." but he barely texted that night and didn't even mention skyping.

I'm tired of having to ask for affection. Does it make sense to constantly having to ask for someone who should just do it on their own to show you that they care? I don't think so, because it makes it feel less real and less true if I do ask for it.

Anyways, I finally snapped, and told him i couldn't do this anymore, (now just to clarify, this didn't come out from no where, We have had this exact conversation five times in the past month) and his response is ALWAYS im sorry, i feel bad, do you hate me?, I'll change i swear. So i finally told him that we needed a break to step back and realize what we really want out of eachother and how to fix things because i couldn't keep living like this and once we figured out how to fix things, trust was broken as wass my heart and we would have to start from the begining. Though he didn't want to he finally agreed.

But the problem is, i have never been in this position. When i got to this point things were just over and i don't know what to do or how to fix things. I know that in retro spect he has to do the changing and i have to learn how to not let him walk all over me so to speak, but i also know that I am going to marry him. He is the one, but i need to know how to fix this... Where do i Go from here?

View related questions: a break, text

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A female reader, Jadedink Canada +, writes (6 May 2011):

Jadedink is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well though I agree with that, it's not quite the answer I was looking for. I need to know how to fix thugs without just beige like "oh you said you'd change well alright I believe you" I need to know how to rebuild our relationship again. I'm not willing to let him go but I'm not willing to let things stay as they were..

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (6 May 2011):

cupidus agony auntHow to fix something that's 1/2 broken, fix it 1/2 way.

If there is going to be success in your marriage there will have to be a 50/50 split on love and responsibility and reciprocation. It can be often 60/40 or 70/30 but if these stats are always benefiting only one party stock goes down for the other. Investing in love is risky, selling after the market crashes is a bitter pill to swallow.

Be your best broker before your heart gets broken.

Learn how to play the market wisely, watch those stats.

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