A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:HeyThis is about my sister. She is 26 and I am 22. We get along really well but lately she has started copying me a lot. I am an introvert, shy and creative. She is all about friends and partying and she's pretty outgoing. But,she latches on to my ideas and because she is the more social one, she gets all the attention for my ideas. Its bugging me so much.The other day I got my second ear piercing and even though she was never interested in piercings,she got the same. I was planning to get hair streaks, and now she's gone and got them before I could...and the same color I wanted!!! I started wood carving, then She started wood carving, even though she doesn't give a hoot about it. She got a couple of pics clicked after which she was done. I am into mountaineering and she lies to her friends now that she has gone for a couple of treks. GOD! So now it looks like she was the one initially interested in trekking and all that and then I took it up. These are only some of the examples, there are plenty more and its driving me crazy. I don't want to create unpleasantness by bringing it up. What should I do!!! argh
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female
reader, Mysterium +, writes (16 December 2012):
Mysterium is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying, So_Very_Confused and Cerberus.
Cerberus, that's a good way to look at it I guess. Thank you for that! But its just that I feel so ignored and being the younger sibling, I always struggle to establish my identity in my family. We both are pretty but because she's older and more outgoing, she gets all the attention. My identity is my creativity and if some one takes that from me too, I will have nothing. So you see what I'm afraid of.
That's the background for me feeling so angry about this issue.
But I guess I'll try and learn from this. I don't want to make things sour by bringing this up between us. I can only change myself and adapt to the situation. Thanks! I feel better now. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2012): I do agree that it is a compliment to you because she obviously really likes your style to be copying it so much. However, I also understand that you are frustrated that she is getting credit for your ideas and stealing your thunder a bit. Do you have a Facebook page? Or a blog, twitter or pinterest account maybe? It might be an idea to start subtly broadcasting your interests in whatever way you feel comfortable, so that people who know you will see that you are the one who is coming up with the ideas? A few strategically placed photos/posts about your mountaineering trips, sculptures, or anything else you like, ought to show people who has the real interest without you ever having to confront your sister about anything. I think if people know that she is the follower not you, you will feel a lot more at ease with her copying you. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2012): Take it as a compliment, she may be older but in a hell of a lot of ways she looks up to you.
Look I understand the sibling rivalry thing. I have three younger sisters, they have a lot of the attitude traits and they have their beliefs from me.
They're all atheist like me but with good strong morals, two of them are in long term relationships with their high school sweethearts and the other loves her gangster bad boys but is a tough cookie herself.
They're not stealing my ideas, they're emulating the best parts of me to improve their lives and I love that, I'm their big brother, if they can use any kind of idea, copy anything I have, think or do and it improves their lives then I'm delighted that's what being a sibling is all about.
OP your sister is a follower, you may be shy and introverted but you can think for yourself, you can come up with wonderful ideas and great things and believe it or not the fact your sister wants to emulate that is a huge compliment. You're a trend setter and she's trend follower. She just does not have the creativity you have so she has to take her cue from you. OP she's not your rival, she's your sister. She's not doing this to one up you out of spite, she's doing it because in things like this you're far better than her. In things like this she'd be lost without you.
If she thinks your ideas are great and wants to use them to make her life better, to fill some inadequacies she obviously feels she has, then let her do that. Why not do the same with her? Why not exam parts of her personality that you think she does better and use her ability to do those things very well to improve those parts of you. That's the best part of being a sibling. My sisters might be way younger than me but I've learned a lot from them too.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 December 2012):
 be flattered.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
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