A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Need some quick advice here. I was talking with one of my best friends and i told him i havent had a relationship in about a year and i told him i miss having someone i can be intimate with (not necessarily physically). Anyways, he suggested i meet his cusin who was single and i told him alright.A week ago i met her. It was sort of a blind date but i was with 3 of my guy friends and her at the restaurant. It was mostly akward because my friends were staring at both of us expecting us to do something and one of my friends kept saying stupid things infront of her (like "man if i was you i would already be hugging her, it looks like you dont even like her"). I thought it didnt go very well but my friend (the one who is the cusin) told me that when he went to see her the next day she said i was nice and goodlooking. I wasnt going to ask her out again because i thought she looked uncomfortable when we were there but maybe she was like that because those 3 guys were there and maybe if its just me and her it might be different. Anyways the advice part it how i should act on the date next date. I dont have her number so the way it would happen is my friend and i would go pick her up and the 3 of us would go out to eat again or to the movies. i feel a little wierd flirting with her with my friend there listening to everything im saying. I havent dated much so i really dont know how to act. for example if things are going well, should i just reach for her hand to hold it or ask for it? And the flirting too, how much is acceptable? i dont want to come across as a creep or too cheesy.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Well the next date SHOULD NOT be with your friends. Two's a company, three's a crowd, any more is a group. Dating should be between two people. You'll feel less awkward, you'll express more through conversation, and you won't have people eyes on you wondering when you're going to make a move.
In your case, I would take her somewhere nice, fun, and memorable. Enjoy your time out- and don't put to much pressure on yourself expecting things to go perfect-BUT it's o.k. be optimistic.
The flirting thing really depends. You have to learn how to read body language to be able to tell if- or how much you should flirt. Some positive signs to look for are: she's attentive, crosses her legs in your direction, she leans on you, she's smiling a lot, being flirty/playful with you, and most importantly, the TOUCH on your shoulder, arm, or hand to make a point or comment during conversation.
Compliment her- but don't be aggressive with it. And don't be cheesy. Be sincere.
And above all have fun!
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