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How often do you see or speak to your FWB?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi thank you for reading this I am in a fwb arrangement I was just wondering how often you see or speak to your fwb as I only see mine once a month if that sometimes even though we live very close to each other I have asked him if he still wants to be in this he replied by text I do and don't so what do you think he meant by that to thank you

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A male reader, MrWombat Australia +, writes (20 May 2012):

MrWombat agony auntThe "F" in "Friends With Benefits" stands for "Friends", not the other F-word. A person you see once a month who replies that maybe they do, maybe they don't want to continue seeing you is not a friend.

See this for what it is. Choose how you want to move on from there.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (13 May 2012):

Ciar agony auntI missed that bit about 'I do and I don't'.

That alone is sufficient reason to walk away. He likes having sex with you once in a while, when he can't find someone else, but that's it. He's not interested enough to want to get to know you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2012):

If he said 'I do and I don't' - then don't bother with him, really. He is classing you as someone to use when there's nothing else on offer. Value yourself, and don't ask him again, delete his number and forget him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2012):

I'm sorry but this isn't a fwb. He uses you for sex when he has nothing better to do. A fwb is a friend who you have sex with occasionally the friend part is totally void in your arrangement which makes you a booty call.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (13 May 2012):

Ciar agony auntThere is really no set number of times or frequency. You do it when you're both together and in the mood. For some it will be once a month or once a week. It's really up to the parties involved. Knowing something is easily available tends to make us less desperate for it, which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the situation.

Having said that, people often mistake a booty call with friends with benefits. Technically speaking 'friends with benefits' are FRIENDS with the occasional supplementary sexual benefits on the side. If you ONLY get together to have sex, or you have sex every time you get together then what you have is a sex hook up arrangement. That's it. And even that is supposed to be reciprocal. If you two only get together when he calls you, then what you are is a tool, an outlet for him.

My impression of this arrangement, based on your question, is you two only talk or get together when he calls you for sex and that he either isn't as easily available when you want it, or you only wait for him to call because you're afraid of appearing clingy. Am I right?

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (13 May 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntFWB means a relationship that is for sex only. Apparently the sex without emotional attachment, or concern for each other is the benefit.

If sex once a month is not enough, and FWB is what you want, you need to either augment your current supply of sex with a new provider who will give you the extra sex to fill in the gaps left by current FWB. Or you could just ditch the current FWB and find a new supplier who will provide you with sex more frequently.

If you have discovered you want more than sex from a relationship you need to ditch the FWB and find yourself a boyfriend, who, presumablly will provide emotional support, make you laugh, care about your feelings, go places with you, and provide sex.

I know if I needed to choose between a FWB and a boyfriend which one I would find more fulfilling.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2012):

He is keeping you on the backburner. He is being vague on purpose.

Your not in a FWB situation with him at all, thats you being his Booty Call, nothing else.

,

If your not sure what he means when he texts you just ASK him, hes the only one who knows

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