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How many dates should you go on before having sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *adAboutHim123 writes:

After how many dates is it ok to have sex with someone?

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A female reader, Chickie Canada +, writes (11 January 2012):

Chickie agony auntI once read about the "90 day rule" If you want commitment in a man then you give me at least 90days to prove to you that he is worthy to have sex with you. You set requirements and stantards, if a guy really wants you and not just for the sex, then he is going to follow them and stick around. If not, he just wanted you for sex and if you think giving it to him before 90 days because you think that is too long will help keep him hooked, then i'm sorry but you're wrong. Guys look at sex differently then women and there are no emotions attacted to it like we have. 90 days isn't as long as it seems for him to follow your boundries and respect you.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThe standard is that a girl MUST put out by the THIRD date, or the guy will get bored and drop her.....

HOWEVER... be careful that the guy you're dating isn't utilizing the uber-effective "Four date" scheme.....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntI'm a first date kind of girl, but then I'm not into relationships, so I can't really answer from personal experience. Generally speaking I think the intelligent woman should wait until date number 7 if she's thinking long term and number 5 if she's thinking 'fling'. At your age, wait till you know him a month or 6 weeks at least.

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A female reader, MadAboutHim123 United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

MadAboutHim123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I first met him December 18th and we've been talking and I've met some of his family and I usually wait to have sex with someone because I want the guy to respect me and underhand hat I'm not easy and I do have expectations. I was just wondering how long the average person waits to have sex either in a relationship or outside of a relationship! I'm 23 years old and he's 21 I'm not a fan of he age difference but I don't let it bother me its just kinda weird for me to date someone younger than me

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A female reader, feralfox United States +, writes (10 January 2012):

You should wait until you are comfortable with him and ready. There is no set date that tells you the right moment, but if you're feeling pressured or insecure about the relationship then just wait. If he's interested then he will wait! If he's just interested in sex then he will move on, but who wants to be with a guy like that anyways? Everyone is different but I personally wait until after three or four dates. Once I waited six months though.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (9 January 2012):

The Realist agony auntI think it really depends on what kind of relationship you want with the person. If you have sex right away it is more likely that will be the focus of the relationship. That is not a gaurantee but it is a general trend.

As for a timeline it all depends how deep you can get into the relationship before having sex. It could only take a month to wait and have a balanced relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

That's up to you, but honestly there's still a hell of a lot of guys that lose respect for a girl who lets them do it on the first date or first meeting.

Why run the race if they give you the medal beforehand?

If you want a serious relationship, best chances of not getting used is to wait a bit first.

If you just want to get laid then there's nothing wrong with that either.

There are no hard and fast rules.

The most important factor here is what you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

That is entirely upto you and the partner in question. (As long as you are both legal, and both in agreement with it of course!)

Some people sleep with someone the first night and go on have a long term relationship with them. Other people think that if you do that you are 'easy' and it may put them off. Everyone is different. You will just know when it's 'right'

Personally, I prefer to get to know someone first, rather than do something in the heat of the moment, that I may later regret! Remember most (not all though) women, tend to sleep with people they have feelings for, men can (generally) seperate sex from love.

Oh and be safe though ;-)

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 January 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntEverybody's standards are different, there is no set time on when to have sex with someone or when not to. Nobody can tell you when you are ready except yourself. So do what you feel is right for YOU.

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