A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please, please help! Im going thru so much pain right now. Insecurity grew in me, i read her private messages, we ended up in a fight. I called her a lier and broke up. Please read, this why i read her private messages http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-acceptable-when-my-girlfriend-invites-over.htmlLater she wrote a long letter explaining herself and her actions...next day we talked calmly and now us both have broken trust. She apologized and said she should have managed things differently with me. I apologized for invading her privacy. She has always or mostly always the truth and i belive she has not been unfaithful at all, i told her i would have to start planning a new stage in my life, most likely relocating for some time close to my family. She asked me to put on hold my plans for now, She says she is confused about us and needs time. I told her ok, so no contact, at least from me. Im wondering how long should i wait before start planning and move on? Changing FB status, deleting pictures of us and erase her from my life? After all we have been together for long time and i still love her, so i want to be considerate with her. I was thinking one or two weeks no contact should be enough for her to make up her mind. What do you think?I apologise for the length of the thread, im just so desperate and i have one to ask For advice :(
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 November 2014):
 LMBO @ Sageoldguy's response. I was thinking something along those lines myself. Ok, back to your question, OP. the short answer is, in your case, I would give it one month from the last date of contact. Reading the background information in the link you provided, thank you for that by the way, I believe this whole incident has been blown way out of proportion.Your girlfriend invited a male friend over to watch movies in her bed. I agree with you that that was a bad idea because it puts one in a position of having to resist temptation and it creates uncertainty in everyone's mind. Boundaries must be clear to everyone.She might not see it as a big deal herself but saw that YOU did and cared enough about what you thought to cancel the visit, and without a big fuss. That should have been the end of it. But you just wouldn't let it go. You were like a pit bull with a bone. Your melodramatic nonsense has, in my opinion, overshadowed your girlfriend's original wrong and now you're left sitting here going through 'so much pain'.This was all totally unnecessary. OP, if you want this or any other relationship to work, you're going to have to get a grip and learn to pick your battles more carefully.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (14 November 2014):
 I went "no contact" with a girl who jilted me in high school..... 49 years ago (!!!!) ... and I'm STILL WAITING for her to come to her senses!!!!
Be prepared for a long wait....
Good luck...
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