A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy for about three weeks, however we have known each other this whole year. We have seen each other about 6 times in the past three weeks, including three times this past week. We have made out and the other day we went a bit further, and I dont want to go any further until i am in a relationship. However, I dont really want to say this to him as I dont want him to ask me out just so I will go further with him. How far should we go without being in a proper relationship? Secondly, he has been cuddling me a lot, tucks my hair behind my ears, has kissed my nose and my forehead and touches me in non-sexual ways, can guys behave like this even if they don't want anything serious? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 September 2012):
 I do think you need to talk to him as well. Caring Guy put it well.
No one is a mind reader. And you know what they say about ASSuming. :)
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (9 September 2012):
 Start the way you mean to continue. Part of the foundation of any healthy partnership is open and honest communication. If you can't relax and be yourself with him now, you never will.
Even if he says he wants a relationship too doesn't mean you must start sleeping with him. You still maintain your boundaries until you feel ready.
It would take some of the pressure off if your dates were at places and times of day where sexual intimacy could not occur - in public during the day.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I agree...I think you should tell him that you are looking for an exclusive committed relationship and see what he says. I know sometimes we don't want to do that because we don't want to "scare men away" by getting "all serious" on them all of a sudden. But if you scare him away, you will know he was just interested in sex.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 September 2012):
Go as far as you feel comfortable with. Since you don't really want to go further until you're in a relationship, don't. There are signs that he does like you a lot - the non sexual intimate touching is a good sign. Yes, some men can behave this way to get you into bed, but mostly men don't have that level of patience.
I think that what you need to do is sit down with him, tell him you like him, and ask him whether he's interested in a relationship as you get to know each other even more. That way, you're not saying you'll only go further if you're in a relationship, and hopefully he'll say yes and you can move forward with it.
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