A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How does my friend always seem to attract the guy she wants? We'll be in a club and she'll see a guy she thinks is good looking, instantly her mind set is 'I have to have him'. And I don't know how she does it but she does, the guy always ends up liking her or coming over to her!What I love is her confidence, she'll just walk over to them if she has to and start talking! Me and all of our friends never understand where she gets that confidence to approach a guy without any fear, she always says what's the worse that can happen and that guys love a girl with confidence and who make the first move.. But still, it seems she doesn't care about rejection, she just goes for it! In fact, when I like a guy she'll talk to them and then after they end up liking me... I don't know what she says, but she's great to be out with!So my question is how does my friend manage to always get the guy she wants? And also, where do you think this confidence of hers comes from.. is she right that guys like when you're confident and approach them first?
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 Confident people do seem to have more fun, that sure is true.
Confidence and belief in you can be developed and learnt. You are certainly correct – guys like confident girls. And girls often fall easily for guys who are very confident.
And this girls has learnt the rules – not everyone can like everyone else. But if you approach 100 people you think you may like then you will have success sometimes. And the more often you try approaching others then the better you will get at doing it. And the more often you will have success. This girl knows this.
Rejection is not a personal slight. It just means that one person on one day does not wish to spend more time with the other person. But on another day the same two people may make a positive connection.
Here are some ways to improve your belief in yourself:
Try daily affirmations
Be good to you.
Allow yourself to have an occasional makeover
Change your hair style sometimes
Do things you enjoy doing.
Do not waste your time with people who demonstrate that they do not value you.
Learn public speaking it will improve your confidence in you.
Try visiting a new place you have never visited before
Try new foods
Take up walking 60 minutes in the park every day with a group of friends
Take up a new hobby that will allow you to meet others – be it in a gym or learning the zumba or volunteering to help others. The aim being to increase the number of people you interact with every week. You confidence will improve doing all these things
Remind yourself daily that you are OK
Read the book: “I,m OK, you’re OK”.
Best wishes and good luck with all this.
A
female
reader, cupidlover89 +, writes (9 April 2012):
Well....the number one thing is her self confidence. That's why she seems to get the man she "wants". Now on the other hand, these men are not becoming permanent in her life are they? You say she picks these men out in the club? With that being said she could just throw herself out there and making it easy for these men to pick her up. Any young man is going to go for the easy chic, but as easy as she picks them up, is as easy as they drop her off.
However, with being a woman you can attract a variety of men, just believe in yourself and know who you are....its the most attractive thing you can have as a girl.
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