A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I know what I've done wrong and I know what I've done right. What hurts the most is losing family, the connections you have, the memories, the what could've beens, the lingering feelings, etc. We have a toddler and a baby on the way. He's said he's fought and I say he hasn't fought enough. He won't let the past go. But after our last fight, the ugly things he said about me, calling me a whore and he hates me and the "if" the baby is mine, and everything that I've been fighting for, I'm tired. I need to let go but it's hard when you look at our child and see him. He said mean things. Hurtful things. And I don't feel very strong or confident. I know I should be focused on my children and I'm trying but today I'm just exhausted. I know things will get better in time. How does a single mother begin to heal, to feel better about herself, when the one person she's loved and trusted with her heart and soul, has shredded that. I keep hearing, "look to your children," and it helps but it also makes me miss my family, and it's irreparable. Some advice for a lost soul? Some encouragement?
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 November 2016):
Every person is tested, and every relationship is also tested. The important thing is to know you are being tested, and live up to the challenge.
"If you are weak in a crisis, then you are weak indeed."
In order to be a good, strong, single mother, you must accept this challenge and show life you got what it takes. No man or situation will stop you from doing what needs to be done.
No matter what names he called you, let it all roll off you like water. Being a mother is a gift no man could ever experience, and therefore have no idea how strong a woman has to be to go through with giving birth. Think about how much strength a mother has...She goes through all that weight gain, aches, and pains of birth, and then turns around and love the very thing that has caused her all that pain. So if you can love child that caused you all that pain, then I am sure you can find some love for yourself when you hurt.
No matter what was said...start by knowing you are awesome. Love that awesome, and then embrace everything else around you. Do not let any man take away your awesomeness.
A
female
reader, PhiliGirl  +, writes (9 November 2016):
 I am not sure what has happened for him to doubt that he is the father, or what has caused the two of you to drift so far apart. But perhaps some separation will do you good. I myself am a single mother, my partner and i split just over 2 months ago. My child isn't even 2. One thing i can say that was good about all this, it showed me we were never meant to be. Once we broke up, i couldn't stop thinking about him and if i had made a mistake (as i broke up with him). I kept thinking what could i have done differently. But then it dawned on me.... Nothing, if i had done anything differently, i wouldn't be the same person. And whats the point of being with someone when you have to be someone else. So basically, just give it time. Perhaps you both will realize that you miss each other and love each other, after all, separation is said to make the heart grow fonder. And if it doesn't, then do what is needed for YOU, move on. Don't waist time looking at the past cause it will never change. Try make yourself happy, cause right now, your kids need you. That should be your main focus right now. I hope i could help. Keep your chin up. There is always a silver lining. When one door closes, MANY more open up. :)
...............................
|
