A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a few months ago, and I'm moving on and stuff. We are not in contact and I've accepted that and I'm just moving on with my life.One problem is that now and again I have thoughts which crop up and bother me:I think of him with other girls and sometimes I don't care, but sometimes it bothers me and I feel kind of sick at the thought of it.I think about how he moved on so much more quickly and just didn't care about me in the end, even though he used to say he loved me when we were together (and I do believe he did, but guess he "fell out of love" pretty quick).I think about how a lot of girls tend to find him attractive, and I just think about how they won't see all the bad sides to him [the bad things about him are relatively minor albeit significant - to be honest I only cottoned onto them after we'd broken up] and they'll just like him and inflate his ego and he'll never be aware of the shitty sides to him.Am I just being bitter? I guess the answer to that is yes haha.. but has anyone got any advice on how to get over these odd feelings that come up now and again? Or how to stop thinking about it?Many thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, yeh I guess it will just take time, I do feel better than I did a few months ago so yeah I just have to give it more time.
Do you think other girls will notice his flaws? Or just be totally blind to them like I was, because his flaws are subtle. Or should I just not care because he's not in my life anymore anyway, and he'll probably grow more mature with time? Haa I just need to learn how to let go of the past :/
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 It's perfectly normal! It will fade with time. Don't try to analyze your thoughts...it will drive you crazy!
As you get on with your life, you will find that you think about him less and less.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): You only broke up a few months ago so its early days. If you really fell for him of course there is a bit of a process to get back to normal. He may be quite shallow when it comes to love and moves on very quickly. You will sometimes feel fine, then a thought will creep up on you throwing you back again. You will get beyond this. But time really is the best healer. You are doing the right thing in not contacting him. And I would try not to go to places you think he might be until you are in a position to know you'd be fine with it. Be comforted by the thought most of us have been there - and survived!
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