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How do you know when someone will change their player ways?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *rahn writes:

I have seen womanizers become good husbands and I have seen players become faithful. My question is how do you know when someone is ready to change there ways? How can you tell if a women/man really loves you? I have asked many different people and received different answers. Now I'm just curious about what dearcupid thinks.

View related questions: player, womaniser

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010):

It's like dealing with a serious drug addict.

They CAN clean up sometimes. But you're crazy to stay in an unhappy relationship waiting around for it to happen. You can't make them do it, or even make much difference in their decision to do it themselves. Most of them won't clean up for decades if they ever really do.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

If and when a womaniser wants to change, they will change themselves. There is no time limit. Some will change quickly, other will never change. They will change when they want to. The important thing for a woman to do is to avoid the womaniser and never sit there believing that they are the one the man will change for. Because the chances are they're not. When a man wants to change, he will change in his own time and his own way. There is no time limit, and no guarantee that they will change, or that they will change and then become a womaniser again in the future.

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A male reader, UncleDoug United States +, writes (2 April 2010):

Hi Arahn,

In short, the answer is you cannot know. If you examine a person's behavior and actions, you may be able to extrapolate their thoughts. However, until such time that you are able to read a person's mind, you cannot know with any degree of certainty what are this person's true intentions.

People often times use objective criteria to hide their subjective intent and this is usually associated with negative emotion. For example, a boss might fire a secretary and state "she was inept, rude to the clients, made too many typos, etc.." but he may have really fired her because she was a different race, religion, body type or she refused his sexual advances. You can never really know on what grounds a person is really acting.

Remember, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck - ITS A DUCK!

Good luck.

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