A
female
age
36-40,
*ettyBoup
writes:I have a history of letting men use me and walk all over me. I was super good to my ex, who did very little in return. Ok he wasn't very abusive or a complete b*stard, he just didn't really love me and made me feel worthless and unattractive by neglecting me. He told me he loved me and I believed him, but it wasn't true. He was just using me for an ego boost.I got over him, all was well, I felt strong. Then I got drunk and got with a "friend". He had no interest in a relationship with me, just used me because I was there. Then I ended up doing it again a few weeks later, despite my knowledge that he wasn't a good person... Then he sleeps with my best friend a week later and then brings home a girl the next day!I give a lot when I love someone and would never lead anyone on if I didn't like them. I thought I had my sh*t together, so why do I keep letting men treat me like I'm worthless? How do I change how I let people treat me. I have always felt as though everyone is above me and that I should put their needs above mine. I think I've got this from my upbringing somewhere along the line. But how can I change my thinking? I'm sick and tired of being the "nice" girl who gets treated like trash...
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best friend, drunk, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012): Hiya,I hope this helps you.Firstly, being a nice girl myself let me tell you honey, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow but the nice girls always win. Keep that in mind.It seems you've been selling yourself short, Dont beat yourself up too badly, we have all done this. Its part of growing up and experience that makes us wiser when we learn what we want and dont want in a partner.The ex boyfriend, forget him. Hes gone. Thats not what you want or need. The 'friend' - forget him. These are two examples of men who do not respect you. Dont even have them as friends, who needs 'friends' like this anyway.Once you learn to say no to men who dont give you what you deserve, push them out, and this will make room in your life for the good ones to slip into your life. If getting drunk and being with this friend has happened more than once, give that a rest for now, change the scenery, go some place new with someone you know, a friend that will look out for you at the end of the night and make sure that you dont go home with any sleazeballs!!A real friend who will keep an eye on you. Just while you are getting your head together.The self esteem comes once you start saying 'no' and clearing out the bad people and bad situations from your life, you attract new ones, better ones and then you become happier and content in yourself.
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