A
female
age
41-50,
*haimex
writes:We've been friends for 3yrs, and recently hooked up. We've just completed 1yr together and expecting a child in 3mths. Along with my belly bump, he's gained weight. I'm normally 115lbs, 5'3, I know my belly will go after the baby's born(already a mom).But what do I do about telling or asking him to lose weight, it's unattractive and killing the mood. I make excuses just to avoid getting intimate, and after giving in, I still don't climax and just grossed out by the gut( I think it's even taken away inches from his manhood), don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing on him and I'm not shallow. I love him but it's is getting worse I wish he'd eat better and take care of himself. If there's anyone out there with some advice how I can talk to him without sounding shallow, and how to get him motivated, I'm all ears!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (24 February 2010):
Start talking to him now that you need help getting back into shape after the baby is born. Tell him you would like to do it together with him. After baby, go to the gym together or for walks/runs and stuff. You don't have to be ugly to him about it. Just encourage him and motivate each other. Even make friendly bets that the one who loses the most weight in one month (use a percentage of bodyweight to make it fair) has to give the other partner oral every day for a week or something; or has to sleep naked for a month or whatever you know will get him to be competitive. Maybe you can say if you win then you want a gift card for Tiffany's; that should get him going. Ok these are silly ideas for bets I know, but what I'm trying to emphasize is that make it a fun, non-contentious issue. In relationships sometimes the other partner loses their way and their focus and this is the "worse" in our vows where now you have a great opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love for him.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Instead of telling him he look gross (I know you wouldn't tell him that), let him know that his weight concerns you. Tell him that obesity is taking over smoking as the number one killer in the world. Since baby is on the way, he needs to get in shape so that baby has positive influences in his/her life and a father that will be a alive for years to come. Use this angle. But, you need to help him loose weight. Eat good (healthy) foods with him. Exercise with him (pregnancy doesn't mean you can't exercise). And get rid of the junk food.
I wish you a happy sex filled life!
Jeff
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