A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married 3 weeks ago, to my boyfriend of 3 years. We are very close, and he is a wonderful, caring (and) good-looking guy - so far, marriage is good. Only one major problem - he hardly ever initiates sex, and Im very disappointed to say that we have not had sex since we got married. It really disturbs me. Its been an ongoing problem, I sensed this about him a year after we dated (at the beginning, its always good). He finds me very attractive, and gets hard immediately, even if I dont touch him 'there', so he has no ED, thats for sure. He is a bit conservative, and doesnt even like talking about our sex-life, so when I bring up the subject, he ignores me. How do I talk to him about it, that Im unhappy at how little we have sex? I used to innitiate alot, but dont feel I should. It ends up that we have sex about once a month, if we're lucky.Please help, Im feeling very down about it.Horny with cobwebs Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Dear Horny: It's a known fact that marriage changes things. I'm not married myself, but I know that one of the problems is that the partners become "always available", and part of the thrill is therefore lost. However, I have also heard people say the opposite: that some men just don't give their wives a moment of peace, because they enjoy the very situation that the woman is "more frequently available". Every person reacts in a different manner.
Now, I think there is a deeper problem here. And this is a serious problem. There should be no problem about who initiates the sex. Tell him that he needs to be with you, and ask him to tell you why he would not.
If you don't, eventually things will become much more difficult to address.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Hey maybe the next time you have sex you should try something new and exciting maybe handcuffs and blind folds make it really nice n fun n this may make him want it more in the future if you spice it up abit and keep tryin new things. you could try explaining that you are a very sexual women and you really really want him try asking him if theres something wrong but other than tht all i can suggest is gettin out some sexy new underwear and seducing him im sure he wouldnt resist you. take care :0
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