A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Age gap relationships - how do I talk to my family?I'm 19 (almost 20) and have been seeing a man who is 36 on and off for about a year now. He has an ex-wife and a 5-year-old son who is the most adorable child in the world who both live in another state. About 5 months into the relationship, I talked to my parents about it, and - big shock - they flew off the handle. They are both extremely against the age gap and have threatened to cut off my financial aid for my college tuition, health insurance, and other things... and although I know they would never actually *go through* with these threats, it still hurts quite a lot.About three months ago I told them I was not seeing him anymore, although I am. I am in love with this man and I want to see where the relationship goes on my own terms, not my parents. I feel I am old enough to make my own decisions without needing their approval.How do I go about telling my family that I am in love with this man who is 36 years old? I don't know what to do!
View related questions:
ex-wife Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 in my opinion age is just a number, but you're parents are just worried for you.
you need to explain that you understand their concerns and you appreciate they don't approve but you're not going to rush into anything. they need confirmation that you are mature enough to handle an adult relationship and that you don't intend to get pregnant or married any time soon.
they won't understand it, but you are almost and 20 and you can make your own mind up. it will be fruistating but they will come round in time when they realise hoe much you love this guy.
best of luck
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 September 2007):
 If your parents fly off the handle, you'll have to handle when you tell them with care. Instead of just outright telling them I would start with something like:I really need to talk to you. I'm afraid you're going to overreact. I don't need overreacting, I need understanding. I know you have your beliefs, but your beliefs are not me. I need you to listen to me, don't judge me, and even if you're upset can we talk without getting angry, because if we do our conversation will go no where.When talking to people about issue which you disagree. Meet them right up front. Let them know you understand they're not going to agree, but this is about your happiness, and finding someone who brings you happiness. Even though they may not agree, and may be old fashion, isn't happiness what we all want for our children?
...............................
|
