A
female
age
26-29,
*nnieCleary
writes:Alright. I'm 16 and a girl. I'm known for being quiet and shy. Some say I'm mature. But lately I've come across an observation that made me doubt it. I act SO immature infront of guys. Not only guys I like but guys in general. I've developed feelings for a teacher (yawn, I know. But thats not what my questions about.) and I've become VERY IMMATURE around him, ever since I've realised my feelings. Like i literally hate myself and facepalm everytime I think about it. And cringe. I'm an only child and the only male in my life during my childhood was my dad. I think my awkwardness around boys came from being bullied by my bestfriends brother. But anyway, guys my age aren't and weren't a big part of my life. So I'm assuming my weird, giggly, attention seeking behaviour around guys comes from how I see girls behave on TV or movies. And I do it unintentionally. When I try to control myself I end up saying nothing. So I either scare them or bore them away. It saddens me that I haven't had a guy friend since the 3rd grade. In general I'm socially awkward, I moved from the states to Europe and had to learn to communicate in a different language. And felt even more shy and unconfident than I was in the first place. with girls you can always talk about clothes or typical girly stuff. But i'm not great around girls either. I'm completely different around people than I am when I'm alone. I like myself best then. I'm me. Really. When I'm around people I say things I don't mean, mostly stupid things. Even in school with teachers I, because of stress, tend to answer questions stupidly. But thats mostly because of language barrier, I guess. So I've become a loner. But I've realised recently that I have only one friend. And that worries me. So for those who read through my ridiculously pathetic problems :P here are my questions:1) How do I talk to guys?2) Why am I so immature and different around others?3)Should I consider talking to a shrink?Thank you for your time and patience :)
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female
reader, AnnieCleary +, writes (9 June 2012):
AnnieCleary is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply and advise! It's always calming when someone tells you that what your going through is normal, and I sincerely thank you for writing it ;) This week I've definately hit rock bottom, and your confidence boost was highly welcomed :) I'm sure to try out some group after summer, where there are plenty of guys. For now I'll take it slow and just talk from time to time ;P Baby steps. Anyway, once again thank you!
A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (8 June 2012):
 What you're going through is normal, especially for someone your age and for someone who has had to move to a different country.1. Talking to a guy is like talking to anyone else really--especially someone you don't know. The first thing is the icebreaker. What do you do or say that gets their attention. Honestly, just getting into it is the first step. Like a band-aid, the quicker you pull it the less it hurts. Simply go up to someone and say "HI". Another option to this would be to join a sport or a group with guys in it. This will help a lot!2. You are not immature, but it does sound like you get nervous when put on the spot. Everyone is different and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. The best advise I can give you on this is to think before you speak, try to calm yourself, and take deep breaths. This will help regulate your body and calm you down. The more calm you are, the least likely you are to say something embarassing.3. A shrink could help with your self-esteem issues, but they will still give you the same advise when it comes to interacting with others. Either way, you're still going to have to inniciate the conversation. Let me leave you with one last comment. Just because you are socially akward does not mean that you are immature or stupid. Akwardness is the new trend! Can you say Kristen Stewart??? People LOVE her and you remind me of her. Hope this helps to boost your confidence some. ;)
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