A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been with my fiancee for two and a half years. I love her dearly and wouldn't change her for the world but, unfortunately, I'm getting bored with the sex.It's her on top or me on top. Most of the time it's her. I've tried talking to her about different positions. She won't do doggy-style because it's "undignified", she makes excuses not to give me or her oral sex. I can't cum on her stomach or anything like that because it's "icky". The only different thing she did once was to spray whipped cream on my chest and lick it off but, like I said, that only happened once. She stops sex every thirty seconds or so to make check if the condom is still on. It's really a mood killer and I'm starting to loose erections during sex because of it. Is there anyway I could get through to her on some of the issues or is she just set in her ways?
View related questions:
condom, erection, fiance, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, calabarguy  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 @Kylie. It may not be about only pregnancy. It could also be about STDs. She is a dignified lady, that according to Kylie, would not love to let go totally before the wedding night.@Wondercat. If what I just stated is her attitude, I think the lady is right; though I believe that's a smart one you can play on her. Not the best idea though. Losing it all may smack the hell out of her. Here's the sort of woman I hope to settle with; that reserves the best for last.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (8 April 2009):
 When you say she does not want to try different positions, how was the topic brought up? Was it through watching/showing porn? or books and articles?
If you googled kama sutra positions you will find some educational sex positions available on the net:
http://www.karmasutrapictures.com/
http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/relationships/259026/Kama-Sutra-positions
http://www.jijasali.com/kama.php?category=positions
http://www.spaceandmotion.com/kama-sutra-positions.htm
http://kamasutrafree.stores.yahoo.net/kamsutpos.html
Go through those pages with her, or books on sexual pleasures, not just once. Leave them lying around the house (or accessible to her - so she can slowly internalize the "idea" without feeling as if she is forced to do it for your sake. [Are there pre-teens around in the house/apt?]
If she had inhibitions about your sexual positions, books or going to a therapist might help her. There may be other reasons for her reluctance to being more adventurous with sex. Although you only mentioned pregnancy, sometimes further discussions would reveal other medical and psychological barriers too.
As for contraceptives, there are so many different kinds to choose from, for both you and her. Go to the nearest clinic to find out options that would be best for the both of you.
Unfortunately, if you are already bored with sex now, and she will not change to be more open with new ideas on sex positions, you will have to be creative in other [positive] aspects of your [future] marriage. Sometimes sex is a compromise. And compromises are never easy.
Good luck in your exploration!
Cat
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I'm newly engaged myself. If my finacee felt this way i would want him to talk to her and tell me the truth. not to sound cliche or anything but you two are about are about to spend the rest of your lives together. shouldn't you be honest with her the beginning? its best to get matters of sex cleared up because it could have harmful effect on your relationship. some things to consider. Would thing still be the same after you two were married? does her fear come from just cause she is afraid of getting pregnant or doesn't want to experience new sexual positions?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): *ORIGINAL POSTER* Kylie, I know that condoms can split but she won't go on the pill. It's condoms or nothing. She's terrified of becoming pregnant.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): *ORIGINAL POSTER* Like I said, she won't try anything else!
...............................
A
female
reader, missHelp; +, writes (8 April 2009):
 speak to her and tell her you are getting bored of ure sex life and want it to be more adventurous maybe shes feeling the same but too shy to come clean and tell you, why dont you start with some foreplay then speak about all positions use would love to do it normally works x
...............................
|
