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How do I stop thinking about this married man?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *omes writes:

i need to stop thinking about the married man i have been seeing for the past 3 months. I'm going out of my mind

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Each of us is in control of ourselves and makes choices...this is something you need to be very clear about. You can make a choice here.

You should also think hard about what has let you "think" about (and see?) someone you know is married - there really are no "good reasons" to ignore that ring on his finger. You know nothing about his relationship with his wife,so don't pretend he's "not happy" to suit your own agenda.

If this man is flirting and encouraging your involvement in an affair there is some personal reason for HIM - that may or may not have alot to do with you. Perhaps you have just given him "opportunity"?

In my opinion, no woman should ever enter a relationship with a married man - you should have more respect for yourself and your own needs/desires. If this man wants you let him leave his marriage and ask you out on a date!

I think you already know this situation has nothing but disaster to offer all involved - so make the choice not to think about him as available and make the choice not to put yourself "at risk" - by staying away from him, not being "friends" etc etc. Be honest with yourself.

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A female reader, Twirly United Kingdom +, writes (8 May 2008):

Twirly agony auntHey There,

There's no easy answer to this Im afraid to say. My advice though would be to stop seeeing him as soon as you can manage to break it off, as the probable outcome will be that you break up somewhere down the line, and the further down the line you guys go, the messier it will get.

At this stage you can end it with a rosy glow to remember it all by, but if you carry on and the bubble bursts, which it's more than likely to do, then you will have a much harder time getting over it, as he may go cold on you, his wife may find out, all kinds of things like that.

It's going to be very hard indeed to forget him, but the sooner you start then the easier it will be in the long run.

Good luck xxx

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (8 May 2008):

eddie agony auntReevaluate your lack of integrity, look in the mirror, realize you're trying to ruin another person's life, think about how lousy your choices have been and finally....try to live by a higher moral standard.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

hey buddy,

I am in the same situation, but I am still wel aware and in control of my feelings. Your best bet is to spend some more time with your friends, meet neww poeple and don't hang out with him as much. He'll come off your mind even if it means you need to start seeing someone else.

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