A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I talk to much. It is a habit I always had.Any advice on how to break this habit? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2020): Nervousness is usually the reason, or sometimes loneliness and isolation make people more talkative when around others. If it's running-off at the mouth and non-substantive; you're a nervous and insecure-guy around people, or groups of people.
It takes practice to break this kind of nervous-habit; and when you're chatty and nervous at the same time, I've noticed that some people jump from topic to topic! Seamlessly! I wonder if you're the youngest who grew-up in a big family! Nobody listens to the youngest!
You practice taking long pauses. You don't have to fill gaps of silence with idle chit-chat. The quiet must make you feel you have to say something; or you feel self-conscious, and want people to think you're a very sociable and intelligent guy.
Just close your lips, and count to 50! Resist the urge to talk. Do it in long intervals of silence. Practice, practice, practice! After awhile, it will become second-nature; and you'll learn to listen more than talk.
I had a teacher way-back in the 3rd grade; who would do this with the kids who wouldn't quit talking or chatting, even during lesson time. With me, it was just the opposite. She couldn't get a word out of me, I guess she didn't have a trick for that. She kept calling on me! To make sure I was still present I guess! I get paid big bucks to speak now! The irony!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (17 July 2020):
 You are quite the opposite in your writing, ha ha. A bit more information would have been good. Do you mean you talk over people instead of listening to them? Do you mean you tell people more than you intended? Do you mean you talk about yourself all the time?
I am of the firm belief that, as we have two ears and one mouth, we should listen at least twice as much as we talk. Also, when you are talking, you are just repeating what you already know. When you listen you might learn something new.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 July 2020):
When you say you talk to much, is it a - when you see someone you don't listen to them, you interrupt, or talk over them?
When you meet someone do you just talk and forget to be aware?
What exactly makes you SAY that you talk too much? Have other people told you? Or do you just FEEL you talk too much?
You could do a timer thing, where you allow yourself 5 minutes for small talk and then move on.
Or you simply need to be more aware. Which would requite a LOT of re-training, effort and thought about it.
A lot of time people who aren't situational aware can talk out of nervousness, to fill a silence or simply calm themselves by hearing their own voice.
You know what you want to change, have you tried before to change this? Or did you think you could "instantaneously" change yourself? The whole "I want- so boom I will change"? Because that is rarely realistic.
Consider the situations you "talk to much".
Then consider a WHY you talk so much in those given situations.
Next, what is an effective way to rein yourself in while talking?
(like for work, have notes prepared and stick to them)
(in social setting LEARN to be a better listener, which means SHUT up and listen - it takes practice to be a good listener)
(if it's when you are on the phone with someone set a timer and ALSO practice being a good listener).
Could you give some examples? It might make it easier to give you suggestions.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (17 July 2020):
 Calm yourself down a little bit and concentrate on your breathing, when you find you are going to burst in to talk take a deep breath in and be mindful.
Its good to talk, but equally as important to not talk sometimes and listen to what other's have got to say, once they have had their say and have finished talking then say what yo have to say.
No one like to be talking to someone who they can't get a word in edge ways in with, so just be mindful really.
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