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female
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anonymous
writes:Hi!I've been talking with a guy online for about 7 months now...recently he had to move to Japan for work, and I knew I wouldn't hear from him for about 10 days until he got a phone and got settled there...I've become very close to him, dispite the fact that we've never met face to face (YET!!) and before this move we talked every day, sometimes 3 or more times a day...So, it's been about 5 days since he left, I miss him like crazy and I hate not talking to him. But today he emailed me saying he wanted to drop me a line and let me know he was okay and had arrived safely...I was so excited to hear from him so soon, but then I started thinking about the fact that it was a rather abrupt email...so then I start wondering if he feels the same way he did before he left...and going through all the negative emotions.I hate this...I should be happy...how do I stop over-analizing it? argh....HELP!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL!
Oh yeah..couple that with a sexy New Zealand accent and I'm hooked...he's a great guy...
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 Wow just seen the piccie of your cyber guy HOT OR WHAT "You Go Girl" lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhttp://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v494/Chloegngr/Ash/
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey...this is the original writer of the question on over analizing my online relationship...I would be happy to send you a picture of my online guy to your email address...or I can send you the link to it in a photobucket account... :)
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (6 August 2007):
Aww I am so pleased for you I really hope everything turns out great for you guys. What does he look like in his pictures is he cute? lol. I wish you and your cyber guy a long and happy future together. Keep me and Aunty Em updated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey ladies...
Thanks for that...and I do understand what you mean...we are planning to meet in a few months, this move to Japan took us both by surprise...
Yes, I have seen pictures of him...some professionally taken and some with his freinds...
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (6 August 2007):
Aunty Em I like your indian folk tale what a wonderful way to look at this situation and you certainly gives sound advice.
I really would like this letter to have a happy ending and that you and this guy finally meets up and fall in love. But what I am also gonna say is, look at it from an outside point of view is what I am doing now. Its difficult to fall in love with someone who is on the other end of the screen, when you have never met them. Have you seen a picture of him? Or do you have a mental picture of him in your mind, like in a romantic novel the handsome sophisticated hero which sweeps his beautiful love interest off her feet. Do you see where I am coming from? In between having your cyber romance, I would go out and have some fun with your friends. Otherwise you will continue thinking about what might be that may never happen, you may even meet an equally charming guy who will sweep you off your feet, you never know whats around the corner my dear. Please let us all know what happens.
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reader, AuntyEm +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Hey there,
There is an old indian folk tale about three blind men who have never encountered an elephant. Each blind man feels the elephant and describes what he thinks an elephant is. One describes it as a tree, because he is feeling the leg, the second describes it as a rope because he is only feeling the tail and the third describes it as a snake, because he is feeling the trunk.
I think this is a reasonable metaphore to describe internet relationships. They can be very exciting, very mysterious and they can provide us with a quick fix of love passion comfort and emotion. They can allow us to express ourselves without ever getting close...but they do not tell the whole tale.
Of course relationships exist on many levels and we gain different things from different people. Sometimes just talking and sharing thoughts and ideas or being complimentary is enough, but for a real relationship to grow and develop, you need to be with that person in the flesh. You need to see more of the bigger picture before you can make any informed judgement about if it is right for you.
You have talked to this guy for 7 months and have obviously developed feelings for him and he for you, but the fact that you cannot physically get to him or know what he is doing or why he is doing it, breeds feelings of disolusionment. You are craving him and feeling his absence the same way a person would if they are in an actual physical relationship, but because you really don't know him for real, you do not have the level of trust to know that he is probably just busy or trying to settle down in a new place and that maybe its a bad time for him to be online talking to you. Because this online contact is the only thing you have with him, you are denied completely when he is not able to be around.
I hate for this to sound so damning but until you have a physical trusting fully bona fide union with him, you will continue analyse the only things you share, in the hope that it will give you some comfort.
Try to keep things cool until you actually meet and decide if 'he's the one' or you will spend a lot of time and energy worrying about nothing. Keep it in perspective and when he does finally get back to you online (which I am sure he will) be positve and upbeat and carry on where you left off.
Don't drive yourself nuts when you are only at the starting gate.
Good luck and I hope you guys work it out.
Aunty Em xxx
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