A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my brother's girlfriend is pregnant. Her and I had a falling out at the beginning of this year over her cheating on him with our step brother. Well, he forgave her and they stayed together but she's not over it yet and is still mad at me (why? I didn't lie or get too rude, I just called her on her bullshit.) But now I regret ever saying anything because I'm afraid she won't let me be in thier life once the baby is born. How do I smooth things over with his immature, grudge holding girlfriend so I can see my neice or nephew grow up too? Is there anything in particular that I can say to give her a reason to let it go becasue I guess being pregnant isn't enough reason to grow up and move on. I already apologized months ago but I didn't care if she accepted it but now they're having a baby I really just want things friendly between us. Thanks for any suggestions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your responses. I think it has worked it's self out thankfully. I sent my brother a message saying how I regret even butting into thier business and ever saying anything because I was now feeling the wrath. He then wrote me back saying she doesnt hate me, I'm just "awkward" around her (ok?) And then I got a letter from her. Saying I was an honest person, "as honest as they get" or something to that effect and that it's cool. So yes thankfully it's "blown over". I just hope she really means it. But thanks again for the encouragement.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 Well, she did the bad thing - cheating on your brother with your step brother is pretty damn bad. That your brother forgave her is just her good luck. I think you are very big-hearted - I would be so cross (to put it very mildly ; ) that she was now refusing to forgive me when she was the one who behaved terribly and you were just standing up for your brother ... !
However, sorry, didn't mean to remind you of why you should be cross with her : )
What to do? Caring guy is right in a way: you can only really talk with your brother: BUT : it is clear that he will do anything for this woman, and even more so now that she is pregnant. So, you have to go about this carefully. At the moment, she is on her high horse and being pregnant, is pretty much untouchable (nobody ever wants to believe ill of a pregnant woman).
Firstly, I don't think you will get things back to friendly unless, eg, your brother is away on business and she goes into labour and you deliver the baby and save her life. Possible, but not so likely. At the moment she is on top: what you need is her needing you, and you being kind and helping her, so she feels grateful to you.
Wait a bit longer. Spend time with your brother. Be his best friend. Never say anything bad about the girilfriend. Be sweet to her, buy them a pushchair, offer to help with the baby, buy her some bootees or something and give them to her soon, and tell her how excited you are about the baby ... wait until after the birth, when she is tearful and feels awful and needs love and understanding, and be there for her ... and tell her how amazingly lovely the baby is ... and buy lots of baby clothes and some kind of cute furry toy ... and she will come round.
If you REALLY want to win her round, after the baby is born, wait about 10 days, until she really feels exhausted and overwhelmed, then come round with a lasagne and an apple pie. She will love you forever ; )
(remember: a lot of women are very fickle - it won't take much ; )
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (4 October 2010):
 Tell her that you are very excited about the baby and that you want to have a fresh start with her. Continue to be friendly toward her. Hopefully when the baby comes and she sees how much you love her, she will get over whatever issues she has with you. Children have a way of making people change their minds about a lot of things.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2010):
Talk directly to your brother, not her. See what he can do. She has no real right to be angry after what she did, so I'd talk to him.
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