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female
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*hunky_monkey
writes: Could someone give me some ideas to help regain trust in a relationship? I am lost of ideas. I love him and leaving him is not an option. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (1 April 2006):
 You do not say if it's you that needs to regain trust or if you need to convince your partner they can trust you, but anyhow..........
Lack of trust in a relationship causes insecurity, to be
able to trust your partner you have to feel secure in the relationship. If you or your partner has done or said something that has lead to you not trusting them you have to first tell them what it is they have done and the way it has made you feel. So firstly you need to talk, find out what lead to the situation and how you can both move forward, there may be questions that are hard to explain or answer, but be honest.
Reassuring each other that whatever it was that caused the breakdown of trust will never happen again is important. Extra effort is needed to convince you that they are truly sorry for making you feel that way, and extra effort is needed to bring back the sence of security once more.
The rebuilding of trust cannot be done alone, and broken trust cannot be mended overnight.
A relationship in which trust is constantly broken is not worth the heartache, or the headache that comes of constantly wondering what someone's motives, actions or whereabouts may be leading to, lack of trust invariably leads to resentment, and that will certainly destroy most relationships eventually.
It's not an easy road to travel, but trust can be regained if both of you are willing to put the effort into it, and as long as the situation that lead to mistrust in the first place is not repeated.
Good luck.x
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Once trust is gone it is hard to rebuild but with effort and committment it can be done, it just requires an open and frank relationship in which you both invest in one another.
Trust has to be earned so if it is you that has strayed or upset the apple cart then it is you that has to be open, honest and transparent.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Ok, this is a little hazy as to whether you have lost his or he has lost yours. Obviously the advice would be slightly different depending on which way around it was.
If he has lost yours then it is up to him to do all the work and prove to you he is worthy of that trust. All you can do is be open to trusting him again and allow yourself time to feel that way. If you have lost his then the focus is on you to win it back. First and foremost you have to be open and communicate alot of what you are doing and how you are feeling. If he asks questions you have to be prepared to answer him openly and fully and, conversely, you have to accept it will take time for him to trust you again. Hope that helps.
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