A
female
age
36-40,
*eminChanel
writes:how can i get through to my gf that i do trust her? my gf says i give vibes of not trusting her. she says i don't trust her because im not ready to give her my cc info and car insurance info for rental cars or hotel reservations, i don't want her friends over my place when im not home (she has her own place btw), and because i don't want her gay boy friend feeling her up. wtf? i don't feel like we are ready for giving personal info when it comes to finances unless it benefits the relationship, but its only been a few months so... as far as the friends coming over to my place, she has her own place. Why do they have to come back to my place to hang out? Also whether a friend is gay or not, guy/girl, no one likes for their significant other to be touched in places that he/she is fortunate to touch. All she hears is, "I don't trust you." Idon't have trusting issues, i just don't feel like what has been going on. Why is it so hard for her to get where i'm coming from? What do i do to get her to see it from my perspective? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (17 July 2011):
 No offense to previous posters, but don't sink in to playing her games, like making her question if you're cheating on her. You've already said that isn't what you want to do.
You're intuition is telling you something. You don't have trust issues, you are in a situation with a person who is giving you reason not to trust her. If you're not comfortable or happy in this relationship, get out of it. Especially if she's going to be odd and petty like this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): You sound like the better person in all of this. I really think you are too good for this girl from what you have told us. Has she told you her credit card details or insurance details? Has she given you a flat key?
Finish this now, she is not to be trusted or she wouldn't be so worked up over this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): I believe the appropriate advice is RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
I lived with my last partner for 9 years. We owned the house 50:50. We had no joint account and we neither of us had the other's bank account details or other financial information. THAT'S trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Wow! Why are you with this girl?
My current boyfriend is the only man I've ever given that information too and we were together 2 years when he got it. even when he did get it, it was only because he was paying a bill for me.
This woman is dodgy, something isn't right. Why does she feel the need to invade your privacy and personal life? Credit card details and insurance information are strictly confidential and you can have your account closed if you are caught passing your details into other people.
This girl has issues, I really don't think she will ever understand the concept of privacy.
Do you have a key to her apartment? If so how about you take a few friends back there while she's out? Maybe even a lesbian one, let them all nose through your girlfriends personal belongings, make a mess of her kitchen... Maybe,just maybe your girlfriend may take the hint but I wouldn't hold out. She sounds like a lost cause x
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A
female
reader, GeminChanel +, writes (15 July 2011):
GeminChanel is verified as being by the original poster of the question To tell you the truth. After she keeps telling me that I have trust issues, I started to believe her and now im questioning everything she does. She calls everyone her friend after meeting them once. One of her roommates has a friend over, but the two of them are there alone. Now im starting to question what they're doing. I never questioned things like this before, but ever since she made it seem like I had trusting issues, I started to have trust issues. Lol not looking good. Maybe I should just call it quits. I feel like I'll be starting to play tit for tat and that's not what I want in a relationship. : (
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (15 July 2011):
Definitely getting very different vibes in this situation. anyone who would guilt you for refusing that kind of information is up to something. She seems to be trying to make it seem like YOU'RE wrong for for wanting privacy to draw attention away from the kinds of things she's asking for.
Think of it this way. Would you ask her for those things? I didn't think so. Tell her no, stand your ground. Once she realizes you aren't playing those games, she'll stop trying to pull them on you.
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A
female
reader, misskat +, writes (15 July 2011):
You share that info when you're married or cohabitating. She's being selfish.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
 It sounds like a losing proposition. Is there any way to check with previous boyfriends as to her fiscal responsibility? It all sounds a bit fishy.
Tell her your accountant and insurance agent have told you that you cannot give her that information or allow her to use your insurance due to the massive lawsuit you are facing at the moment. Tell her your credit is shot and you are living month to month and could you please use her credit card this month and next month... Ask for the keys to her place and drop in unexpectedly from time to time with your friends. Maybe experiencing the situation from the other side will wake her up.
It may be harder to find some lesbian friends to feel you up but it's worth a try.
I don't much like the sound of her but I expect you are with her for a reason. Could you remind us what that is?
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, GeminChanel +, writes (15 July 2011):
GeminChanel is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni've been going through the relationship in my head and i know that i haven't given any indication of not being able to trust in my gf. I tell her exactly what i'm feeling and she can't seem to grasp what i'm saying so she comes up with some kind of reasoning for the conversation. it always ends up being something that's wrong with me. i don't trust her or i don't like her friends, is what she gets out of every fucking disagreement or conversation. it's annoying and i'm tired of it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 Do not give your credit card details or any other financial details to your girlfriend, you could end up with a massive STD - sexually transmitted DEBT. It happens. It happens a lot more than people think, and it can happen to those who consider themselves on the ball, clear headed, good readers of character, and it can happen to those who beleive themselves desperately in love.
I dont understand why this girl beleives the only indication of trust is for her to have access to your financial information. Ask her why this is.
As for other boys feeling her up, eh? excuse me? She doubts your trust and does that? And if they were gay they would not be interested in feeling her up.
Are you sure this is the girl for you? She doesnt sound like much of a catch. I think you should be reassessing the whole relationship.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (15 July 2011):
 Proof? Well it certainly doesn't come in the form of credit card details or letting her take advantage of you. Fact is that she's the one being unreasonable. Don't let her guilt you into allowing things you're uncomfortable with simply by her saying that you don't trust her. That's not trust issues on your behalf, that's manipulation on hers.
Its only been a few months ffs. Credit card details indeed...
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