A
female
age
30-35,
*mily-jo
writes:I really need help. I want to prove to my boyfriend that I will never cheat again and that I love him. I've tryed everything and I really, really don't want to stop trying.Please help me. emily-jo xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): hun i feel your pain i cheated on my true love and it hurts!! but only time will heal both of you pain all i can really say is call him as much as you can and when he listens remind him that you love him and that you will never make that same mistake ever again!! Be with him as much as possible and buy him little reminders that you do love him they aways love that.......and remember your a lucky one because my love wont take me back and has moved onto my best friend please think before you act like that again!!!
Good luck!!!
~~lindsay~~
A
female
reader, starchild +, writes (8 June 2007):
 My dear trust is something that takes an eternity to build but on seconds to destroy. There is not quick solutions - the only thing I am afraid is time to prove yourself. You have to remember his pain and understand it. Do not rush him - let him take things at his own space. Love and Light
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): I'm currently in the other side of this right now. My boyfriend just cheated on me, but I'm definitely willing to give him a second chance. He's done the begging, crying, and showering me with presents already, and now we are working on re building trust. My best advice: just be honest with him. No more lies, none at all. If he loves you, the trust will come with it. Take things slow though, no pushing him or anything. Just let him control the pace of the relationship now. It will basically be like starting all over. But you guys can get through it. Just have faith in each other.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 Hello Emily-Jo,
Well, earning someone's trust can be a very long process, and regaining someone's trust can be an even longer and harder process. In order to prove that you're not going to cheat, it's going to take more than just words - I'm sure you've found that out by now. That means that everything you do is going to count in trying to convince your guy that he is the only one for you.
For example, you are going to have to be completely understanding about his paranoid feelings. If he seems uneasy and thinks that you are going to cheat, you can't get angry at him. Instead, you should talk with him. Ask him to tell you what's going on, tell him what's on your mind, as well. Talking things through will be very productive. Sometimes thoughts may be repeated, but that's okay. Maybe he feels he just needs to be heard and needs some kind of reassurance.
You should also be sure to ask him what would make him comfortable. Is it okay that you hang out alone with guys who are just your friend? Ask him. Chances are the answer will be no. That's totally understandable! The way I see it, if your relationship is getting rocky to the point of almost a break-up, then forgoing the friends for a bit is okay. (You just don't want to make this a habit. You should always be able to have friends. Besides, if these guys are your friends, they'll understand that you want to fix your relationship first.)
Apart from being totally understanding and asking him how you and he can work together to rebuild the relationship, there's not much you can do. This sort of thing really relies on what the couple is comfortable with.
But Emily-Jo, don't let him knock down your self esteem. If you stick with him and all he does is constantly talk about how you are going to cheat again, if he calls you names, etc. I recommend getting out of the relationship. That sort of relationship would not be healthy.
And if your boyfriend is unwilling to try and make things work and just wants to break up, then there's not much you can do about that, either. You really have to respect what he says if that's his decision. I know that it will hurt you - it will totally suck, in fact. But it will be for the best, don't you think? Not just for him, but for you as well - then you're not with someone who really doesn't want to be with you. I think that would be even worse - if he were around just because you convinced him or out of pity. Actually, that might even be a bit insulting, wouldn't you think?
But Emily-Jo, no matter what path is taken, things will be fine. The relationship could work out, or you two might break up. The point is that you will both do what is right for you in the end. To me, it seems there will be some sort of negative feelings regardless of what decision is made - but there are always ways to get through them if you're willing to work for it.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, brokenheartz +, writes (7 June 2007):
 Trust is almost impossible to gain back once you've broken it. You probably can never gain his 100% trust again. Shouldn't have cheated. Only thing i can suggest...morning blowjobsevryday
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