A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am struggling with my past at the moment, there has been a lot of abuse, since a very young age, both physical and mental, and I am struggling to pick myself up all the time. Every single day is a struggle, and I have no idea what I have done in my past to deserve it all. I am not looking for sympathy, what has happened has happened. I am looking for constructive ways on how to build myself up, get motivated and change my life for the better. I am so tired of struggling to get out of bed every single day...I am already on antidepressants (and have tried many different types over the years) and have already been through therapy and councelling, so I doubt those as suggestions would really help. But I will appreciate any responses I get. xxx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): Self improvement OP. Constant constructive self improvement. You'd be amazed at how even tiny little accomplishments and improvements can make your life better. Plus they're very addictive.
Start with small steps and build yourself up to bigger and greater goals.
You can start by adjusting your diet to a more healthy one. If you're on a weightloss diet or something like that come off it and start eating the way that will benefit you in the long run because you both enjoy it and can sustain it.
More exercise. Start walking, running, join a rowing club, or the best form of exercise of all a martial art like kick boxing or something along those lines. There are a million different sports and physical activities that will improve your health and fitness. A fit healthy body is an amazing thing have and the rush you get from exercise is better than any drug. Don't think you will like any of them? Try them anyway. Just please don't try and start aerobics classes or any of those other fad fitness classes like boxercise or some crap. Things like rowing have other goals and benefits to them that make it easier and more fun to want to actually stay doing them. Kick boxing for example has things like greater confidence, through knowing how to defend yourself, you learn how to focus your mind under pressure, how to take a punch, how diffuse situations calmly and you get very fit and strong from it too.
Join yoga classes or tai chi, or meditation or go to a local buddhist temple and learn techniques on how to clear your mind of all the junk even if it's only for an hour. If you're religious then perhaps devote yourself more to that religion.
For your brain. Start a course to learn a new skill, learn to knit, learn pottery, or get an ecdl, grab a paint brush and redecorate your living room. Learn a new language, save up and learn how to fly a plane. Get a certificate in TEFL and start teaching night classes. Go back to college, start reading books on new skills. Go to a DIY class or cookery classes and learn to make awesome food. Or just go do something you've always wanted to do like skydiving, do something you're afraid of pick up a spider in your hand, or go pet a snake.
Plan a holiday, contact some old friends you haven't spoken to in a while and arrange to meet up. Go visit some family members.
Look I've battled depression for similar reasons but I never went and got professional help and I don't believe in a chemical fix for my mental issues either so I fought and I fought hard to do all these things in my life and have something to get out of bed for.
The problem I found with depression is that my long term memory was almost solely focused on my past fuck ups or the past shit I had happen to me. This had the effect then of making my future seem very dark and impassable. So I said fuck that and decided I was going to force my brain into accepting that life and I, was not as bad as it was trying to convince me. If you know what I mean. So I gave myself a little goal, get my ecdl. I got up every morning to go to class and every time I got a good mark I felt a little better. My memory then started to become filled slowly with pride of my recent accomplishments and the things I hoped to achieve in the near future. This way I was no longer stuck in the distant past and I forced it to focus on the immediate past, the present and the immediate future. All of which became filled with little achievements, goals and things I could be proud of. You starting to see what I did?
Take your pick OP. The world is full of abso-fucking-lutely awesome things to do and see. Just start getting into the habit and doing and seeing and your past will pale in significance to your present.
Pardon my foul language by the way.
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