A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has recently broken up with me and no i do not want to get back with her, but i do want to remain friends but i dont know what steps to take to make that happen because now she happens to be dating my best friend and every time i see them the hurt just comes back again and again any advice on how to move on would be greatly appereciated
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female
reader, SuperSammie  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 hi there.
i think you should hang around with both your ex and your best friend but in a big group with a few other friends.
this way you can show your girlfriend and your ex that you are fine with them being in a relationship, but if it does bring up the hurtness you still have other friends to back you up and be there to support you.
but if it does hurt you seeing and thinking of your friend with your ex, then tell him, maybe he values your friendship more than a girl, after all friends are for life, girlfriends can come and go.
but if he does really really like her, then you are both going to have to resect how each other feels and spend time hanging out without her.
but to remain friends with her i think you should just hang around with her with a group of other friends to show to her that understand she is with someone else and that you are okay just hanging around with her.
hope this helps x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat was my original plan but this friend is one that ive had since i was like 9 and i havent seen him in ages, its really not a friendship im willing to throw away right now i my life thats what makes this situation so "sticky" for me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Take one day at a time. It sounds like you need to deal with the breakup and also that she is now with your best mate before you attempt to still be friends with either of them.
Right now you are probably slightly in denial about it all. You say you want to be her friend, but if you try to do this too soon, you'll end up acting like her boyfriend still and it will either cause problems between the three of you or cause you unnecessary heartache.
Try and spend more time with friends who do not hang around with your ex or best mate. Time is what you need to stop the pain from coming when you see them together. Once it is no longer painful to see either of them, you can decide whether or not you want to remain friends with either of them.
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