| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My husband never wants to come out with my friends. I have never forced him anytime. He takes me out and all that. No issues with that. We are totally different people. One of my friends wedding is coming up. I am friends with the entire family. He says I will take care of baby at home. you go and enjoy yourself. I appreciate the trust he has in me and the space. I do need space at times but there are times I want him to come along with me. If anyone can give me lovely ways to handle this with love I would really appreciate it. I haven't forced him to come along with me nor do I want to force him. He is a complete introvert if it helps and am.. somewhere in between an extrovert and introvert.
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 I think you should tell hubby that while his comfort is important to you, he should slowly manage to come out of his shell and socialise more, such issues do nothing more than grow wages between spouses, and it's only natural for you to want to spend time with your spouse AND your friends together, to be able to connect with others and socialise as it is healthy while in a relationship, not isolating yourselves from groups and events. These add some salt and pepper so to speak in your life as a couple and should be a welcome escape. By being seen more and more often alone in your group of friends, you send off the message that something about your relationship is flawed, it isn't right, when it's obvious what everyone is thinking, you might want to not honour these invitations yourself! Spouses should be able to go out on occasion with groups of people, introduce their friends to each other and so on. He may like a more tranquil life style, in which case you can agree on how much is too much or you don't necessarily need to stay for the entire party, although will you be happy to leave precisely when the party is in full swing, you will need to discuss these. Or how knows, maybe he will enjoy being there, after a while. You may feel you can make concessions now but a time will come when you can no longer feel happy being alone at parties and events where everyone brings their spouses, so try to make him reconsider and come around, at least sometimes. For an introvert, it may be difficult to find a comfortable atmosphere but he could make a compromise for himself and the relationship and start saying yes more often, to tasks that he sees as more difficult. So suggest that you go and buy some nice clothes appropriate for the event, in which he can also feel very comfortable and at ease and specify the only important thing is to only attend, there is NO good or bad way to have fun. All the best.I should specify I have a problem with "never": "My husband never wants to come out with my friends." You are not a big extrovert yourself, but you are trying. Such relationships could possibly become, well, boring. Trying and experiencing together makes them fun and renews them.
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