A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:My ex broke up with me a week ago....and I still want him. I fell for him really hard and wasn't sure where I stood with him. It lead up to a big argument causing us not to speak for a while and then he said wanted to stay friends (we were friends long before this)He txts me a lot and if I say I'm going out etc, he makes little comments like ' replacing me that quickly i guess.(assuming I'm going out with guys) and it's like, I'd rather just stop contacting him and get over it. But I really do think there's a chance.We always have conversations through text like normal. I just feel like it's still there. But I don't want to hurt myself and keep talking to him only to realise he didn't think the same.My friends keep telling me ignoring him blah blah. But I'd rather not play games, I don't give him all my attention and I don't text first (I do have some pride about me lool) But I'd rather keep it how it is and go from there, or know nothings going to happen and just cut contact.I just felt like things were said in anger and in the heat of the moment.. I just want a second opinion...and for anyone who thinks I'm right. How do I go about getting him back? How do I let him know that I really miss him and I just want us to try again...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2012): Hi,It sounds like he's texting you and staying in touch as a friend which is what you both agreed to become after your break up. It may have been a break up over something silly but I do think that the way for things to go further is for him to come to you and tell you he wants to try again and not really you going to him. He broke up with you, so if he wants you back he is going to have to tell you this and try to win you back. If you put yourself out there, you are very brave, because you are taking the risk of him not only having broke up with you but him having the ball in his court to reject you again.Which could really hurt you.I think if you are clever, you would go out have fun with your friends, let word get back to him how happy you are and how great you look lately and this may get him thinking and wondering about you and who knows, he might start to chase you to get you back :)
A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (22 May 2012):
 Hi! This is yourself in the future warning you : dont even go there! Put the phone down and start the process of mourning this relationship.
You are what I call " a shelf girlfriend" I've been a shelf girlfirend and it aint pretty.
A shelf girlfriend is a girlfriend they kinda like but would prefer 'something better' because shelf girlfiend is human, and does not fit into his unrealisric idea of what a perfect girlfirend should be... (ie built like barbie, cooks like a 40s housewife, a contortionist, friendly as his nanny - whether or not he deserves it- and thinks the sun shines out of his backside like his mommy does)
A shelf girlfriend does not get the treatment "the one" would get. But she gets put on the shelf for moments in his life when he is lonely and none of the "better" girls are available. Then he just dusts off shelf girl, until the next barbie comes along... Barbie dissapoints and shelfie gets some sob story about how he actually missed her and was on the rebound or something...
Please please please do not waste your precious time on him! Pleeeeeease! I had to find this all out the hard way. The heart breaking humiliating hard way. The three-years-later-when-you-are-engaged-to-another-dude-and-now-he-is-interested way....
Your future self
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