A
female
age
30-35,
*oadChops
writes:I have been with my lovely boyfriend for a year and a half. We have had a great relationship but recently have seen him more like a best friend than boyfriend... I just don't fancy him any more, much as I care about him, and it's getting really horrible and awkward. I have not been single for more than a couple of months in the last 5 years and have hopped from relationship to relationship, and have finally decided I need time to be on my own to discover who I am really. So I am going to break up with him in the next few days I expect - just trying to be tactful about it.Anyway, I went clubbing with some friends a few days ago and a friend of a friend seemed really keen on me. However I don't fancy him at all and definitely am not up for another relationship - and also of course I do not want to be giving this guy the wrong idea as I don't want to disrespect my current boyfriend. This guy then went on to add me on a social networking site and said he thought I was cool, to which I gave a brisk but polite reply and hoped he would leave it there. However I am going on a night out in a couple of weeks with the same friends, and he will be there. And so now he has messaged me asking he he can "reserve a dance". I am horrified! I don't know how to politely let him know I'm not interested, without using the "I have a boyfriend" excuse because soon I won't and he'll think I lied, without saying "I don't dance" because dancing is what I love best and he knows, and without seeming rude.What do I say? How do Istop things getting awkward? I don't really want to disclose my relationship status at the moemnt because it is probably about to change... I need to reply quickly or he'll think I'm just rude. I never led him on and have been as formal as possible with him. Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (29 January 2013):
 You seem to take alot of care as to what this new guy thinks of you, especially for someone who 'wants to find herself'.
How about just being direct and telling the guy you are about to break up with your current guy, you feel you might want to be single for a while but are open to new possibilities.
I think you feel a spark of attraction for the new guy, if only a little!! So be real with yourself and your soon to be ex, as well as the new guy. You'll feel lighter (on the conscience).
Good luck whatever your decision.
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (29 January 2013):
 "I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now', 'I'm happy to dance with you but just as friends as I don't see you that way'.
Honesty is always best!
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