A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im sorry if this is a little graphic but could really do with some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months, everything is perfect apart from sex. We have sex basically whenever we get the chance so sometimes a couple of times a day so that bit is fine. What im struggling with is how quick he is and I dont feel anything during penetration. See hes quite small so we try positions recommended for maximum penetration but I literally dont feel anything. I think that I get too wet which takes away some sensation from me but I can't help it, even with no foreplay whatsoever just being with him makes me really wet because there I fancy him like hell. Ive only been able to climax through penetration but because i dont feel anything during sex i cant do it with him. Im not sure what to do because i enjoy sex with him but im starting to struggle with not feeling him or getting any sensation whatsoever.The second problem is he cannot last long at all, maybe only a couple of minutes and he is always apologising for this. Numbing creams etc dont seem to make any difference so I was just wondering if there is anything we can do during sex to help him last longer. And how do I bring it up without making him feel rubbish about himself because he I really dont want to hurt him and he always says he feels bad he can't last long?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): Have you considered trying an extension (dildo) or penis ring?
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (16 February 2013):
 HI
it's still a new relationship so your both still in the honeymoon period, after a while you both relax and settle into a more indepth relationship, thats when he will last longer . The only thing I can suggest for your excitement is to keep a few kleenex handy and have a sly dry up every now and then ( as your changing positions) also you can by a mini vibrator which will tone you internally, pelvic floor exercise too will tighten you up, so you will feel him more when making love. hope this helps
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 I suspect he already knows about his performance is impacting your relationship. If he is climaxing quickly and then apologizing believe me -- he knows. Also the fact that you've tried numbing creams also indicates to me he already knows what's going on.
Here are a few recommendations:
1) Have him wear a rubber if he isn't already. This will cut down the sensations and he might be able to last longer
2) Have him use toys on you beforehand to get you half way there. Even by doing oral, you should be able to achieve orgasm. Also by extending more foreplay he should be able to last a bit longer.
3) Have sex more than once a day. The first time should go pretty quickly but if you wait for him to get aroused again he should be able to last longer.
4) Most guys can't do marathon sex. Usually 5 - 7 minutes is about "average" from first penetration to a male's climax. Be sure that "your few minutes" is really just a few minutes and not an average duration.
There is nothing you can do about his size, so you will have to work with what he's got. That may be something, unfortunately, that you'll have to accept as part of the relationship.
I also think if this problem continues you need to have a heart to heart with him about his ability to last longer. Sure it will be a tough conversation, but if you want sexual satisfaction it will be one YOU must have. He may require a trip to the doctor for medication or instruction on exercises to better control his performance (see Kegel Exercises). Just be patient as changes don't usually happen over night.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): I would suggest having a 'no penetration' rule for the first 30 minutes. You can anything but penetration.
Have him masturbate to climax before any session. Surefire way of lasting longer.
Above all, he needs to learn how to get you off without using his thing. Penetration, most of the time, lasts for five minutes or so. The rest is where it really counts.
Flynn 24
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