How do I handle this mean girl at school?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Please help me...there is this girl in my friendship groupe and she realy hates me. TO my face she is lovely but I know behind my back she is constantly bitching. Sometimes she will drop random snide comments in front of everyone which embarres me. Now im not one to let people walk all over me so I generaly stand up for myself, which just gets me in worse trouble with everyone else who think im being mean, when they dont seem to see what shes doing to me, which is much worse and she is always calling me ugly and saying I mess around with guys and lots of other things. The thing is my mum and my bf's mum say she is jealous because no ofence but she is short, largish, bad skin and a complete cow. She does have nice hair thoiugh... ANYWAY i know im not ugly or anything i think im quite pretty realy but these comments just dont help anything and make me feel like crap, although i dont show it. Another thing she does is tell everyone how fridgid I am with my bf becase we have been together a year and not done more than kiss (actually we have but I dont tell her that) but I dont dare tell her because it would be over the school in about 2 mins. I know all the boys hate her but she doesnt realise that and just goes along. She also flirts with my bf when im not there or sometimes when i am there and touches his crotch and stuff but I dont dare say anything as it would just cause an argument and im so sick of those. When I said the thought of spending another year at school with her made me physicaly sick, my mum suggested we look at other schools, now im so happy to move, but I dont want it to seem as if im running away and i would still see her at parties and things as my best friend goes to this school too. Im worries as the school im at is private and im going into my second year of gcse so moving could be a problem as i want good results, not that a public school couldnt do that but moving coursework and such could be difficult. I realy dont know what to do, I cant stand her for another year and i thought i could tke her out for a coffee and just say something like 'i hope we can be better friends this year' but i know she would say yeah sure and then go bitch about it to someone. I realy dont know what to do for the best but im not going through all that again. No way. Thanks x

View related questions: best friend, flirt, jealous

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A female reader, Emaz help  +, writes (12 August 2008):

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