A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 2 days ago. We lived together (for 3 years now). I moved out immediatly and now live at my parents.It all started about 2 weeks ago. I told him I felt like he was not really happy to see me (he would not kiss me upon meeting up or wouldn't ask about my day or anything). He told me he tought we were not meant to be together because I do not like to practice team sports (soccer, hockey, football...). There's a new girl at his work who does play team sports and he takes a detour to give her a ride to work everyday before he told me that I only thought he was being nice but as soon as he accused me of not being a team sports kind of girl I asked him right away if it was about her. He told me no. The next day he said he needed a break and left for his parents house.He came back 2 days later telling me he loved me and made a mistake. He told me he was thinking about her a little bit but being away made him think and that she really was just a friend. He started being distant again just a week after coming back home. I asked him about it and he told me he had been thinking about the girl a lot since december (WTF! we are in september now! has he been faking it since then?). The day after that he broke up with me telling me it had nothing to do with her.I feel like I didn't get the truth here, or at least not all of the truth. I also think like I deserve to be respected and therefore, I deserve the truth. However, I don't think I'll ever get it and I don't think that even if he told it to me I would never be sure because he told me so many lies... What do I do about it?
View related questions:
a break, broke up, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 sweetheart there is really nothing you can DO about it. you just need to accept that its over, accept that its a waste of time trying to get the truth out of someone who is being shady and accept that you make your own closure - it does not have to be granted to you by someone else.
i think your instincts are spot on unfortunately. it IS about that girl. recently he has probably been back with you because he has not got the relationship with her properly secured yet and he felt like he was 'out on a limb' he will not want to admit to you that you were right because he will not want you to know he is terrible enough to leave you for someone else, he will not want you telling people that that is what he did, he will not want to face you being angry with him and calling him a cheat. instead of being honest with you he is taking the cowards way out and hoping you will just get over him and forget about what he has done if he skulks away quietly after feeding you some 'its not you its me' BS.
this is rotten for you and i really do sympathise. you WILL get over him though, it takes time but you will not always feel like this
x
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (3 October 2011):
Wow your boyfriend really is a jerk for ending a 5 year relationship so badly!! You really deserve to know the truth, and he should be man enough to give it to you.
Obviously this girl has some part in it. He confessed to thinking about her since September. I mean, it's a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?
But about the "team sports" thing. Nobody dumps someone after 5 years because they are not in to team sports. Your boyfriend is insulting your intelligence to give you such a rediculous reason.
You need to see if you can have an honest, open and frank discussiona about how your relationship went wrong - and get the truth.
If you can't do this, it's going to take you longer to get closure - but you need to hold your head up high and remember that this douch isn't worth it, and it's better for it to finish like this now, after 5 years than in 20 when you have kids and a marriage with him.
...............................
|
