A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 17-year-old guy, and I just started working at a place where I've been volunteering for 2 years, for the summer. I became second-in-command to a 23-year-old female friend, and I see her every day now.I've always found her cute, and I think she's an awesome person, but I knew a dating relationship could never work because of the age difference.Recently, I found out that she's married her boyfriend and has taken his name -- It wasn't a secret wedding really, but they waited a couple of weeks to tell everyone.Since then, my feelings for her have been growing, to the point where I'm feeling heartache. I know that there's nothing I can (or should) do about it, and it should be none of my business, but I can't help but feel bothered by the fact that she's changed her name, and that she's somebody's wife now.I know that a relationship with her is completely off-limits -- she's decided to spend the rest of her life with this guy. I'm not going to try and ruin her marriage or anything, and I'm not about to confess my feelings, either.I met her husband recently, and he's a really nice guy. (He's also the luckiest bastard on Earth). I should be thrilled that they've found each other and have sealed the deal, but this has been excruciating. I can't get it out of my mind.My female friend and I share a lot of the same interests, and I think we'd be really good friends if I could just get over my feelings for her. But is that even possible? I want to be able to interact - as friends - with her and her husband, without feeling weird or getting pangs of lovesick anxiety. I'm used to having female friends or acquaintances that I quietly find attractive, but I've never felt this way before. How can I make this feel normal for me? The problem is entirely on my end... she's her own person, and she can marry whoever she wants. But this has literally been keeping me up at night! Help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): UPDATE! This is the same guy who wrote the question...
She's invited me to a "wedding celebration" party that happens in two weeks. I feel like attending it would either give me closure or make me feel a billion times worse. What should I do?
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