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How do I get over my crush on one of my husband's friends?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2010)
A age 30-35, * writes:

For you women and men who have been cheated on and gave your significant other a second chance; I was cheated on by my husband a year ago, I was pregnant with twin boys and he couldn't have done it with a more disgusting person. I'm not just saying that because I'm mad, I love my husband with all of my heart but I honestly feel like if I could do it over again I wouldn't have given him a second chance, he hasn't done anything else that I know of and he seems truly remorseful. But I have a crush on one of his formal friends, its just a crush and I'm not going to act upon it, I just need someone to help me pull my head out of my butt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010):

Crushes can seem so intense at the time, that sometimes it seems that all your waking hours are spent thinking about them - they almost become a reality!

Do you get to see your crush often? because sometimes just being unable to see them is a sure fire way to diffuse a crush

.

Ways I would try to stop a crush is as mentioned above -ignore them. If this isn't possible then I would suggest getting to know them a bit more, sometimes this takes off the awkwardness and excitingness and you might realise that you dont really have that much in common or even the same sense of humour -That way the relationship with your crush may become more of a friendship.

Taking your hubby back takes alot of love and forgiveness, not to mention patience. It shows me that you are probably a very loving, forgiving, genorous person.

Being pregnant is a hugely vulnerable time, physically and emotionally. When he cheated on you did you feel like you had no chance but to take him back?

Even though you love your husband and want it to work, Im sure there is still a tiny amount of remorse and it would not be unusual to feel like you want revenge to hurt or betray him in the same way he hurt you at such a vulnerable time.

If I were you I would pursue the crush in a most innocent way as possible - whats the harm of getting a friendship out of it?

We only get one life - don't feel like you have to spend the rest of it with someone who will cheat on you. You sound like you are a person who deserves much better than that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010):

''but I honestly feel like if I could do it over again I wouldn't have given him a second chance''

Do it over and DONT give him a second chance. Nothing stops you, love.

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