A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just started seeing this guy and for our second date he wants us to go for a sauna. I have never been before and I am a little worried what do you wear, he says he wears nothing, I am not up for that on a second date, I am not that confident woth my body, I always cover up and he knows this but he says I will enjoy it. What should I wear. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): some sauna's have separate girl and guy sections, check that's what he means and confirm with the spa - sports club - if it's unisex then tell him you don't feel comfortable wearing a bikini and also seeing his bits (even covered by a towel) at this stage.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 Tell him you don't feel comfortable and wear a bathing suit.
I think it's a little strange that anyone would expect someone to be naked on a first date. If he's worth dating, he'll respect your feelings. No one should demand that a girl be naked on a second date.
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A
female
reader, The_CityGirl  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 Try suggesting a different date. Tell him you don't want to move that fast. If he truly likes you, he'll understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): going to a sauna where the guy is naked is not a good setting for a second date. Even if you wear a bathing suit, I'm sure he'll talk you out of it so why even set yourself up? Even agreeing to go knowing he has some expectations sets the wrong tone. Suggest dinner or something harmless so you don't have a situation on your hands. If he's not up to that, chances are he's only after one thing and you're better off finding that out now.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (3 April 2009):
 How did you meet this guy? I mean, if a mutual friend set you two up then maybe he just has no clue about how odd this is, but if you never knew of/him before, then I would tell him to pump the breaks a bit.
A spa/sauna is pretty intimate, and no, you do not have to be naked in one. I was always under the impression that you are required to use a towel or wear a bathing suit since you sit on benches steaming up.
If you're ok seeing his bits all hanging out, then wear a suit or a long towel and hang out, but if the whole idea makes you uneasy, then listen to your instincts and tell him you'd rather catch a movie and dinner.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 April 2009):
He's either completely clueless, or doesn't want to put any effort in before he gets to see you naked.
Tell him you do not get naked on a second date.
If he's a decent guy he'll have no problem and will not mind.
If he's a jerk who wanted to rush you into taking your clothes off then at least you will know and you can dump him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Lots of people wear towels into the sauna. That is another option for you. I agree that this seems quite intimate for a second date!
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A
male
reader, DPB  +, writes (3 April 2009):
I think you should trust your instincts. Also how much do you like this guy. Maybe you could suggest doing something else together for a second date. I think its a bit much to ask to expect you to get naked on a second date. Speaking as a guy it sounds like he only has one thing on his mind. Hope it works out for you :)
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