A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a silly question, but I need help. My boyfriend of a year has invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family, and of course I want to go. The problem is, my parents are kind of strict (I live at home) and I can't see them agreeing to this. We would leave Wednesday night and come back Sunday in time for school, work, etc. My parents probably will ask me to work all day Wednesday and Friday, but I would like Friday off! How should I ask this? Or should I just stay home and work? ANDI don't know how to ask my mom if I can spend the night with my boyfriend? I'm 19 and he's 21, unfortunately I have to live at home while attending college. This Saturday is our one year anniversary and I would really like to stay the night with him. I'm on birth control, we are both careful, we just want to celebrate a special day. Problem is that I'm worried about bringing this up- I'm almost 100% sure she will say no. Help?![Two questions from same user combined by moderator.]
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 You're of age, you're being responsible, and it's a meaningful anniversary. While I completely agree with Tennisstar, there's no reason you two can't carve out a few hours to yourselves in between your home and his. Tell your parents your going to his home, and stop at a motel during the journey. Neither your parents nor his need to know what happened inbetween.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Honestly, if you already know she's going to say "no" then I wouldn't bother asking.
Call me old fashioned but unless you are engaged/married OR he has his own place you can spend the night at, I think it's inappropriate to spend the night in your boyfriend's bed under HIS PARENT'S roof. Besides who wants to have sex, while his parents are there??
What about spending Thanksgiving with your family? Wed-Sun night is quite a while to be gone especially around the holidays.
You can state your case to your mother. You're on birth control, an adult, it's your 1 year Saturday..then see what she says. Or maybe you can compromise and spend just Saturday with him, but still be home for Thanksgiving.
Keep in mind you live under your parent's roof, so you still must abide by their rules regardless if you're legally an adult or not.
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