A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering what's a good way to ask friends and acquaintances to hook me up with their friends? Basically I just want to go on blind dates, meet new people, and have fun. I don't have a lot of friends-- most of the people I would be asking are just "good acquaintances" who would probably call me a friend, but who aren't really "good friends." I was just wondering how do I ask without sounding weird or desperate? It's also a really small town, and the reason I'm having a hard time finding my own dates is because everyone here likes to play it so SAFE, it makes dating boring. It seems like all the people around here want to wait until they know someone really well before even asking them out, and I think that takes all the fun out of it. And all that stuff about taking a class, volunteering, etc... I do it all, and have met wonderful people, but no one I'd date. So I want to meet new people, but I'm just not sure how to ask my friends to hook me up with their friends, and how to make my intentions clear? I'm a relationship person at heart, and I don't want to come off as someone who plays the field, just because I want to have a little fun right now. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your help, ladies!
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Maybe mention to your friends you are looking for some company, basically someone to stave off some of the loneliness until you get your butt into the city!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStarfairy, no it's not drastic-- in fact, it's like you're reading my mind! I think about relocating almost every day. I'm planning on staying here until I finish school, because I'm getting a free ride and since I'm older, I'd really just like to get the school thing done. But you're spot on.. the sticks, no choice, no variety... those twelve guys on match.com all have the same hobbies and the same facial hair.
Thanks VegasGirl, yeah, maybe part of the problem is that I never talk about being single. My friends know I'm not seeing anyone, but I never let anyone know I'm looking, either. Your dinner idea is quite good, too, thanks:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Tisha, that's great advice! And no, I don't think it's prehistoric, especially where I live, where so few people seem to be using internet dating sites. Unfortunately, a party is out for me-- I'm not much of a party person, and my place isn't the best place for a party. I'm not so great at social networking, but it's something that I've been improving and working on, so I think of this as very similar as other aspects of social networking. I've been thinking in terms of sound bites, too, and I definitely have a good idea of what I'm looking for. Thanks for giving me your take on things-- I have a better idea now of what I should say, or more importantly, how I should say it, both to my friends, and any potential dates.
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reader, starfairy +, writes (20 July 2008):
Yup they put pics up!
The talked alot before they met though, and made sure they were compatable and had stuff nin common etc.
Maybe, and this is a bit drasticm you should consider relocating. Sounds like your stuck out in the sticks with no choice nor variety and your now resorting to looking to friends to get you hooked up...Get yourself to the city!! So much is going on out there...!!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Okay, a couple of thoughts for you. First, do you have a place big enough to have a party and invite a number of people, and also the cash to pay for some beverages and snacks? This might sound lame, but you could ask your friends and acquaintances to come, but the rule is that they have to bring along a single friend or two that they are not personally interested in. Do an evite thing, and maybe even ask them to bring along some food or something to drink.
Second, you need to get your acquaintances to be looking for guys for you, and this is a social networking thing here. They do need to know that you are interested in meeting a new guy to date. What you want to have happen is that when they are interacting with a single, available guy they happen to know is to that they remember that you are a great woman who happens to be single and is available and such a good catch that they should give you a call.
So you need to have a mini-resume, the infamous 30-second elevator talk prepared about yourself. Why are you a great catch? What makes you special? What kind of man are you hoping to meet? Distill your finest qualities down to a few sentences and also figure out what kind of guy you're looking for. Single and available is a good start, but what else, athletic? funny? loyal? Do this first, and then, when you are talking with your acquaintances, you'll be able to give them sound-bites about what makes you special and date-able. That's a start for now. Then you can tell the wonderful people you've met that you are feeling like you're ready to start dating, lay out your mini-resume, and they'll have something to work with. You'll have to think of this as a low-return thing though, out of 20 people you talk to, maybe only 2 or 3 will actually get what you're trying to do here.
It's been so long since I've dated that this all may be a prehistoric way of finding a great guy to date. The internet dating scene may be the way to go, just be sure you're dealing with a reputable site.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree, dating sites are great! I especially like okcupid:) My problem with dating sites right now is that I live in such a small community, and it's four hours away from a city, so on match.com, for example, a search for males ages 25-35 within fifty miles of my location yields only 12 results with photos... That's twelve men in a ten year age bracket in a fifty mile radius!!!! For the women, it's worse.. only two! There are plenty more without photos, but I feel like if I'm brave enough to put a photo of myself up, I want to date someone who's equally as brave. I plan to sign up for a dating site as well, but with those kinds of numbers, I need a plan B :)
Oh, and kudos to your dad and his new wife:) I like happy endings. Oh, wait, and question... did either of them or both of them have pictures of themselves up? Maybe my reasoning about pictures is wrong..
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reader, starfairy +, writes (20 July 2008):
Why don't you just try a dating site? There's not so much of a stigma these days and you can suss out if you're compatable etc before you go on the date...Match.com is pretty thorough, my Dad met his now wife on there, and they're absolutely perfect for each other :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Well when I'm single all my friends try to hook me up with they're friends. just openly tell your friends your single and looking,..that may start the process. or why not ask a few people to dinner and tell them to invite friends... and make it clear that you would like some people you don't know , so that you can mingle and talk and such. that should open a few doors hopefully :)
I hope this helped :)
*~VG~*
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