A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is awkward... but anywayswe've been having sex for quite some time now--i wear condoms when we have sex--i tell her to be on the pill, but she doesnt want too--she doesnt want to be on the pill because she would get the pill through insurance since its cheaper. but her mom would find out that she's having sex.--i then insisted on telling her that i would pay half if she pays half, then she came up with her mom finding out again cuz her period difference(i even told her i'd pay for the whole thing taking responsibility)--i want to be safe, we're both young, should i insist on telling her to be on the pill?--this has been on my head for quite some time now please help!--also what are the best condoms to use? haha sorry
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice everybody i never really thought i was acting selfish in anyway. i thought i was just thinking whats best for the both of us yanno? and at first she was thinking about the pill, its just that she came from a strict family and she's FILIPINA haha, hope that makes sense why she doesnt want her parents to know.
never meant to be selfish in anyway
but i respect all your opinions and thank you very much
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): You can't make her go on the pill if she doesn't want to, I'm a little bit shocked that people actually have to point this out to you to be honest. It's her body and she can do what she likes with it. There are also many risks that come along with being on the pill, including higher chances of breast cancer. It also makes you put on weight. It seems like you are being selfish.
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A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 It's her choice, if she doesn't want to then you can't make her. Imagine how unpleasent it is putting a pill full of chemicals that are going to change the way your body works into your mouth everyday. Some people just don't want to do that to themselves.
Plus, there are all kinds of gross side effects that she will have to put up with so you don't have to use condoms. Condoms don't cause side effects that you have to deal with. Is that fair?
At the end of it all, it's her choice. If she says no, it's a no.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 May 2009):
 You can't make her go on the Pill if she doesn't want to. It's her body and her choice.
Hormonal birth control sometimes has unpleasant side effects. It can affect your periods, your skin, your circulatory system (which is why you shouldn't smoke while taking the Pill) and even your personality. A doctor should monitor you for the first few months.
As for condoms, I prefer the Japanese brand ultra thins. My partners have always said the sensation is better with those.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Hi,
Well think you need multiple barriers - nothing stopping you getting pregnant is 100% guaranteed. Condoms are good, choose the extra safe sort - it feels a bit like tire rubber - but these will help and don't rip!
Not sure but parents know that when you reach a certain age - you are more than likely to be shagging - they were young once, despite the rumours.
Star.x.
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