A
male
age
51-59,
*effreydoose
writes:Ok, I have been out of town for 2 months for work and I talk to her everyday or at least try to. She says she will call me back and then she does'nt, she tells me she forgets. So when I get home I find out from other people that she has let guy friends sleep over because the homeless shelter is closed. Which is understandable. So i asked her why she did not tell me and she says she forgot. When we talk about it she gets defensive and upset and says that i am being jeoules. and she will not tell me everything. So how do I get her to be honest with me and tell me everything. We have been together for 4 years, and been through alot together so I don't know how to talk to her without her getting defenseive. Can some one give me some adive please!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (25 July 2009):
 The homeless shelter? Uh what is that all about. This relationship is D.O.A.She should have been cast as Sgt. Schultz on Hogan's Heroes with all her forgetfullness. The whole camp could have escaped into Heidelburg for the day and come back relaxed just in time for roll call.I am pointing out to you that if you believe anything outy of her mouth after being gone 2 months....that's enough time for her to forget about all the homeless guys that slept at your pad. Which she can whimsically wish this all away as you listen to her plead ignorance.DUDE!People don't just forget to tell you that there are homeless people in your house when you are away.WAKE UP!Make the decision for her...dump her like garbage. If you don't you will drive yourself nuts!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): am i getting this right, "she lets guys she don't know spend the night cause the homeless shelter is closed"? I mean if they are friends that is cool and not so cool at the same time.
if they were friends before hand you will have to trust her.
Maybe she is one of those people who don't have it on their mind to call someone back because they are doing things other than sitting there on a buisness trip thinking constantly of why they haven't called me back.
my point is sweetie.. you have time on your hands right now, time has a way of making the cogs turn even when we don't want them too.
she may not have mentioned it too you cause it seems that you two never had a trust issue in the past. So why mention it? He's my friend and he crashed here.. so what big deal right?
but you on the other hand are a thousand miles away staring at the phone... and picking every single detail.. turning it inside out, upside down, forwards and backwards trying to find out what you missed.
my other question is, has she ever---- ever in the past given you any reason not to trust her?
if no then-----------I don't think your missing anything except your girlfriend. So instead tell her the truth, I missed you and got jealous and have to know everything or i will explode......... OR.......... you could just continue to trust and love your gf.. like I can see that you do and move on with your life sweetie.
if yes then-------- you do have some serious issues and the only way to deal with those is to sit her down calmly and tell her exactly how you feel about the whole situation.
Without trust you have nothing. it may get tough but you have to say that, you did not like the vauge answers and you feel she was lying. if she is still kinda vauge there may be a serious issue there.. because its rare that a liar will change.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, alwaysreadyandwilling  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 You cant make anyone who`s dishonest become honest,because its not in them. I know because i met one in a chatroom. said she was single,but had a guy for 4 years. I know its not her fault for wanting it from me,but it was for saying she was single.
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