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How do I get back the girl I fell for?

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Question - (31 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi everyone. I need some help as i am at aloss as to what to do. My wife to be has massive self image problems and no confidence. She has gained 6 stone since we have been together. This doesnt bother me as she is the girl i have fallen for. But all she says to me is how fat she is and how she fells ugly. We no longer have sex due to this. I have tried everything i can think of. Telling she i beautifull and sexy. romantic meals. I do all the cooking and house keeping. Try to get her to do exercise by walking the dog with me to produce endorfins. Always make sure she came before me when we used to have sex. What do i do the girl i fell for has gone

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2011):

angelDlite agony auntsix stone is lot of weight to put on. i think your girl has gotten complacent in the relationship and maybe your softly softly approach isn't working. she needs a wake up call or else she will continue to gain weight, not do any housework and cooking and not have sex with you while you are tolerating this.

sounds like she might be depressed but you know, depressed people will drag everyone around them down if you let them and the more you give the more she will take. give her some tough love to shake her out of this.

get her to talk to you about her feelings, and not just the feelings of being fat, you know all about that, it isn't news. look back to when this all started to go wrong, had something happened in her life that may have triggered this slide into depression? (loss of job? loss of someone close? house move? how long had you been together when it started? - i hate to say it but the relationship with you might have been the trigger so look very closely at this too, does she take the contraceptive pill? maybe the brand is not agreeing with her and giving her depression and weight gain) did she have any major disappointments in her life prior to this change?)

x

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